[ keith turns to face shiro, hands on his hips as he pauses mid-step. lips quirk with obvious amusement, even as he makes an earnest attempt to look like he's concentrating on the presented argument. never mind the fact that it's obvious to everyone in the room that, yes, keith finds his boyfriend rather kissable. ]
Uh-huh.
[ his lifts his gaze from shiro's mouth to his eyes, eyebrow raised. look, he's not even cringing at the more callout, despite still very much thinking his meaning had been obvious from the start. ]
I might've noticed a little that your lips are cute when you pout.
[ keith laughs, still a little lost on how shiro threads the needle between adorable and powerful. keith glances over his shoulder towards the plusj, sighing as if weighing out pros and cons for a life or death decision. that's all the levity shiro gets though before keith steps back in close, stopping in front of shiro when their knees knock. ]
You know.... you and the wolf are both my favorites to be around. But I only have one boyfriend. That's you.
[ he leans in, hands planted on either side of shiro's hips. ]
So. Do I get to say patience yields focus here?
i still laugh-cringe about them renting a hotel room to fight
[ does he now? because if keith’s noticing, then shiro can keep up the pouting. or not, because actually, it’s increasingly difficult to pout when keith’s laughing and pretending, hamming up an indecisiveness that they both know is complete bullshit. he overcompensates to outweigh the need to smile, sticking out his bottom lip as keith checks over his shoulder. but then eyes are back on him and akin to a pup, shiro perks up the millisecond keith eases into that first step.
yes, good, good, come closer. knees knock, but shiro can be helpful – just another reason as to why keith should kiss him – so he splits his thighs and empties the space, giving keith access and room if he wants it. not yet, it seems, and that’s fine, really, because keith’s leaning instead and calling shiro one of his favorites to be around. at least he doesn’t have to fight the space wolf on the boyfriend part. might have to for title of best boy, though.
later. he’ll figure out the imagined competition with the dog later, because right now, he’s currently winning and he’d like to enjoy taking a victory lap - or two, three – with keith. so he abandons the pouting altogether and smiles sweetly, face tipping as he arches up. ]
You can say it. [ shiro could probably benefit from being reminded of it. though, chances are low that he’ll adhere to it. ] And then you can kiss me.
[ shiro spreads his thighs and keith does his best not to be shy as he nudges in that half inch closer, leaning until his forehead is pressed against shiro's. this is far from his frist time dealing with intimacy, but whatever memo his heart should have gotten about that seems to have gotten lost in a void. with hammering in his chest and the weight of shiro's breath on his lips, keith closes his eyes and tries for one final attempt at nonchalance.. ]
Patience. Yields. Focus.
[ each word is emphasized with tiny breaks between, drawn out so keith can savor the role reversal. he opens his eyes, then huffs a quiet little laugh, the next couple of words mere whispers. ]
Guess I'm an old-timer now, too.
[ fate sealed, keith tops it off by finally pressing in to take that kiss shiro's been eager for. it's still chaste at first, but lingering and sweet. right around when keith would normally break away though, he swallows, gripping the sheets tight as he pushes himself into shiro's lap,.
true. they cant fight either with bitchface yowling
[ is that how it works? three magic words, acting as an initiation into old-timerhood? it’s silly and hilarious, so unbelievably corny that shiro almost believes this whole thing is a dream conjured up in his head. can’t be, of course, because the touch of lips is too electric for him to replicate. so is the weight that settles into his lap. keith’s all sweet and unhurried at his mouth, which is, frankly, at odds with the thighs that straddle him to bed knees past his hips. it’s agonizing, yet invigorating. tempered, yet teasing. he wants in an instant, but he reminds himself not to give in to the greed of his desire.
patience yields focus, yeah? there will be no rush to pull up shirts or undo zippers, neither will he force the lingering pressure of keith’s lips off as he tries for something deeper. not yet. they can indulge in the slow, carefulness of every moment, cataloging each in what is certain to be a memorable night. he will, however, start by touching his palms to keith’s waist, smoothing down to grasp him gently at the hips. then not so gently. he tightens to feel the fit and frame of him under fabric, thinking that he’s got such a gorgeous shape. an unbelievable shape, actually. he’s got a trim waistline and these lovely, yet narrow hips, and somehow, still has a round, firm, meaty backside. it’s weighty on his thighs and suddenly, shiro would like to know it better.
patience yields focus. right, patience. he’s supposed to be patient in this slow seduction. he knows it, he wants it that way, too, but his hands pull anyway, dragging keith by the hips the few inches left to get them crotch to crotch, that ass so close, but not there that it’s a touch maddening. he sucks at keith’s bottom lip and gives it a parting nip to make up for it, his mouth straying but not leaving as he kisses down to his jawline. ]
How you doin’?
[ a little slurred due to the muffling of his still busy mouth, shiro noses underneath the sharp angle of keith’s jaw and further still, to lick and nip at his neck. at least this is familiar. they’ve heavy petted and kissed just as heavy, leaving the occasional hickey. keith’s nervous, though. they both are. but shiro is quickly gaining ground in his confidence, losing himself as he ducks lower and starts sucking at his throat, a few inches higher than the set of his collarbone. the slide of his hand can’t be corralled either; left goes back and cups a cheek, shiro already delighted by how it fits in his hand when he squeezes. ]
yea can't have shiro distracted by pavlovian reflex to fetch doritos
[ no beats missed, shiro's hands are on him, supporting at first until they pull keith in all the way so that they're chest to chest, and hip to hip. it's a tiny adjustment, but that's still all it takes for his dick to twitch as shiro kisses back and then kisses low.
keith obediently tips his head back to grant his boyfriend greater access to his neck, and lets out a soft noise when lips move and suck. whatever thoughts keith had fizzle as he abandons his grip on the sheets to cradle the back of shiro's head with one, while the other idly scratches up shiro's thigh.
what can he say? the hickeys he'd seen on other cadets and inmates had always looked kinda stupid, but hypocrite that he is, having visible signs of shiro's affection on his body is something that never ceases to make him go a little doe eyed in private. does shiro feel the same way about that? the squeeze at his ass is momentarily derailing, keith gasping by shiro's ear. his own grip goes tight on quad then, squeezing -- not hard enough to bruise but temptation runs hot in his arteries. ]
Great.
[ sounding just a pinch dreamy, keith shifts enough to catch the shell of shiro's ear with his teeth to nip and whisper. ]
Didn't know I'd get a nice welcome reception for the old-timer life.
[ it's not what shiro meant, but keith can't help teasing all the same. he releases shiro's ear, purring a little through the gentle suction at his throat. ]
Should I be reminding you to be patient more often?
[ great is great. relieved that pesky nerves are out of the equation for now, shiro parts his lips a little wider to gather more skin and continues right on suckling. the nip at his ear has him sucking with more fervor, but then there’s the fanning of breath and a voice alight with teasing. disrupted with the need to laugh, shiro muffles the sound as best he can into keith’s neck. a valiant effort, perhaps, but with him abandoning his goal to render keith’s skin wet and pink, it’s no mystery that the joke worked like a charm.
he drops down further, both to get his ear away from the devastatingly effectiveness of that mouth and to press a kiss into the divot between his collarbones, just barely visible above the shirt’s collar. ]
You can. [ shiro loves seeing his lessons applied by others or in this case, his mantra adopted by his once protégé. he lifts his head, though stays bowed to look up at keith instead. there, he quirks a grin. ] Don’t expect me to be a devout follower, though.
[ he demonstrates this by giving keith’s ass another appreciative squeeze. goodness, it’s firm. some detail is, regretfully, lost with jean in the way, but the muscular shape of it is easy enough to discern. he doesn’t have to fill in any of the lost details with his imagination, though, does he? not tonight, because – ]
I’ve been patient. [ he sits up straighter and lifts his head. ] You’ve been patient. [ and a lean that’ll bump his nose to keith’s, nuzzling sweetly as metal fingers slot in between their bodies to pop the button of keith’s jeans. ] I think patient boys should be rewarded now.
[ the spirit of that is something that easily gets keith to laugh. how can he not appreciate when shiro gets a pinch defiant when told to be a patient boy? but it's true. they've both been patient -- or perhaps more specifically, shiro has been patient. keith has been oscillating between want and worry.
intimacy with shiro is both a tantalizing prospect and a daunting one. for starters, shiro may have seen him naked before, aroused even, but not in a way that would lead to questions about his cock. since being in prison, he knows from experience that most don't bother to question it beyond a few curious glances, but frankly shiro's opinion actually matters. compound that with keith's own stubborn refusal to deal with sexuality in a healthy manner and there's so much that could go wrong.
it won't go wrong is what keith automatically tells himself, but with the button of his pants now open , he misses his cue to banter after he laughs. the silence is brief but awkward as keith turns a little shy in shiro's lap. should he be telling shiro about his dick? he's wondered before, but mentally aborted the train of thought when descriptors like bumpy sounded far too fucking awful to manifest into reality. unsurprisingly, having his boyfriend's hand ready to undress him does not provide a jolt of poetic inspiration. he clears his throat. ]
Yeah?
[ fuck. tongue tied, keith tries to distract from that by dragging his hand down low to the hem of shiro's shirt. another beat, the he flips up the fabric to rest his palm flat on abs. it's not the first time he's touched shiro this way, but there's a distinctly exploratory quality to his touch. almost contemplative really before keith brings his other hand down and starts to lift the hem of the shirt up to start pulling the shirt up and over shiro's head. ]
That mean I get to do whatever I want?
[ within reason, of course, but the question is more tease than serious. ]
shhhh let's not think of bitchface and huey in the bad au...
[ the break in their building banter is obvious. keith goes shy as the laughter fades and shiro holds his breath a few beats longer than what feels natural. too much? should he have waited? perhaps he really should have heeded his defining proverb. so his hand doesn’t immediately drop to the zipper once the button is through the loop. it’s not even that long of a pause, but the following yeah doesn’t restore his confidence, either. what does is keith touching him back. shiro’s belly trembles through a beat as he expels breath and falls into a more familiar rhythm. confidence builds and shiro is nothing but cooperative as he lifts his arms as required.
he’s better about his body these days. sure, some days he refuses to catch even a glimpse of himself in the full-length mirrors in the locker rooms, while others he spends too much time surveying every patch of knitted skin, but overall, he’s lost the luxury of being self-conscious about what others think of him. even then, it’s not so much other people that shiro cares about. the only opinion that matters anymore is whether or not keith finds him attractive. acceptable. and he does. he’s seen the worst of his body on display and still wants to try this thing between them, so he shouldn't be nervous or doubtful.
it’s a reassuring thought that shiro mostly believes and one that carries him through the moments of the shirt being worked up and pulled off. bare, there’s a rush of vulnerability that has shiro tensing, but it’s a brief, nothing thing. one full breath and he smiles on the exhale, voice playful for the quip back. ]
Or have whatever you want done to you.
[ keith will be getting a brief ride here because shiro’s thighs start moving in small, slight jerks. he’s taking off his shoes. one foot digs into the heel of the other shoe, working it off, before repeating the action to the other. throughout, shiro holds onto keith’s hips with one hand, the other still at his fly, fingering the button. ]
For example… [ shoes dealt with, he stills his legs once more. the whole thing only seems to brighten his mood and so, his voice remains light and teasing, all said through an ever widening grin. ] I could suck you off. All you have to do is say the word.
[ keith should really be desensitized to seeing shiro shirtless by now. again, they've been naked in each other's presence often enough that keith can roughly map out each scar cut into his boyfriend's body, but the knowledge isn't enough to keep his stomach from twisting up with anxious anticipation. seeing is one thing, but getting to touch is newer and each time he gets to brush fingers gently over skin, keith swears his own skin tingles in tandem.
ridculous, maybe? but with the shirt gone, keith's touch is gentle when he sets his hands on shiro's shoulders. ... and then not so much when he's jostled from beneath. keith laughs, grip tightening then loosening up in quick measur with twin coaxing squeezes. shiro really is determined to be impatient today, huh? honestly, it's kind of thrilling despite his low key concerns.
the counteroffer is what what makes keith's laughter turn shy again though, considering. anything he wants? fuck, where does he even start with that. aphro fueled experiences are best left unexamined, but that leaves him with all his times with anon. his mostly non-verbal exchanges with anon, that is. towards the end, he'd merely presented the part s of his body he wanted touched and hoped anon knew what he was getting at. anon had always been good at figuring it out, but then again it's sex not rocket science.
mercifully, shiro spares him from actually having to articulate much of anything. the offer of a blow is all but pushed into his lap and keith can't help going a little pink and doe eyed about it, stupidly virginal despite the fact that he's had his dick sucked before.
it's just .... he's never been asked explicitly. it's new and weirdly enough -- kind of hot. caught wanting to laugh at himself, keith huffs, stifles it and settles himself by squeezing shior's shoulders another time as he nods. ]
.. Open sesame? [ ... ] Wait.. That's two words.
[ flustering, keith hangs his head. ]
You know what I mean.
[ fuck. don't tell him he's already messing up this whole "sexy" thing. ]
[ annnnnnd back to nervous. the confidence comes and goes with keith, and it’s fine, shiro doesn’t mind holding his hand through one moment to the next, reassuring him in his desire. it’s just… shiro is also trying to keep up the façade that he continually has it together. it goes without saying that shiro wants this to be good for keith. better than good. great. mind blowing. so unbelievably special that there will be no room for doubts moving forward. goodness knows they’ve had enough of those. the doubt has largely been sowed by shiro himself, but that was before and this is now. and now, shiro is very intent on making things work for them.
least to say, it’s a lot of pressure he’s putting on himself. the wait has only given him time to set his expectations high and he just… hopes he’s able to rise to the challenge and meet them.
he laughs to keith’s fumbling, the sound soft and his smile fond as not to scare this skittish thing off. he gives keith’s hip an answering squeeze and then ducks down to push his face into keith’s line of sight. he nuzzles in again, using the brunt of his nose to nudge against keith in short, upward sweeps, coaxing him to lift his head. ]
I do.
[ know what he means. he laughs again, and muffles it soon enough by pressing a gentle kiss to keith’s mouth. he lingers for a time and then slowly deepens the pressure and wets the connection with parted lips. thorough and indulgent, he tries to sap the tension with a play of lips and tongue, inevitably breaking away for a shallow breath and a heated: ]
Can’t wait to have you in my mouth.
[ a parting, playful nip at his upper lip and then shiro leans back some, grin holding a boyish sort of confidence. ]
You’re gonna have to get off me, though. I’m not that flexible.
[ it's in these moments where shiro picks him up so effortlessly when keith falters that everything feels right. it's been years that they've been there for each other, supporting and encouraging the best from each other and even though the context has changed, the path they're on now feels like the natural continuation of who they are for eahch other.
keith's heart swells as they kiss from chaste to a slow taste of moremore with shiro. tht image he paints right there at the end of shiro suckingand adoring his cock? it makes keith keith moan a little into the kiss, the shiver going straight to his cock when shiro parts with a nip.
right around here when his dick is dangerously on the verge of firming up is where they'd have called it quits normally. talking dirty, and egging each other on is a new part of the boyfriend repertoire that keith hasn't mastered yet and hasn't ever attempted with anyone else. does he know how to suck a thick dick? sure. can he take one without panicking? of course..
can he be sexy and flirt and all the other things that go hand in hand with intimate relations? it's a big ask, and keith winds up going a little shy in his laughter. ]
Right.
[ ...right. a beat then keith untangles his limbs and carefully hops on the floor, hands on his hips as he draws down the zipper of his jeans. he swallows nervously, hesitating and delaying by shuffling to get his feet out of his sneakers and then stepping on the ends of his sockss one after another to get his feet free. ]
How flexible are you anyway? Do I get to see?
[ the question is casual enough, helped by a healthy dose of genuine curiosity. even so, keith doesn't quite look shiro in the eye as he pulls his shirt up over, tosses it to the side and then finally hooks his fingers in the waistband of his jeans and boxers and pulls both down. a good amount of nervousness keeps his dick from being entirely hard, keeping all ridgey bits hidden but he doubts that'll stay true for long. resisting the urge to squirm, keith steps out of the puddle of his jeans and underwar and comes to stand in front of shiro. ]
And uh... how do you want me?
[ standing? on the bed? bent into a pretzel? ]
i pictured the pokestation perfectly in my brain & started laughing, i want you to know that
[ shiro’s flexible. flexible enough to do high kicks in full armor, as well as tuck, roll, springs that even a seasoned acrobatic would be impressed by. he’s surprisingly limber despite all his bulk, and yet, it’s right about now that shiro realizes that he doesn’t much apply it in bed. why would he? he’s the one driving the cock. it’s the other boy that he is testing with the split of his thighs and the curl of his spine. ]
If you’re good.
[ it’s an appeasing comment, one said with a lazy smile, despite him inwardly turning the comment over and over, trying to understand it himself. does keith want to test his flexibility like shiro tests flexibility? does he want to push his legs up and see if he can get his knees to his ears? they had that brief hiccup on the walk back from the carnival; it’s not all that unlikely that, initially, keith had pictured shiro as the one laid out, legs pulled back to present his hole. they sorted it out for tonight, but maybe keith will want that eventually. is shiro okay with doing that eventually?
as always, he sticks a pin in that neverending debate, knowing that going far-eyed and distracted while keith is stripping right in front of him, will do nothing good for keith’s confidence. it isn’t all that difficult for shiro to tell himself to refocus, either. the shirt is off and keith is, in a word, pretty. creamy skin, strong shoulders, tapered torso that leads to a tiny waist. he’s gorgeous. this would be a good time for shiro to join in the undressing – get it out of the way, right? – but his hands remain in his lap and his gaze stays, blinking slow in a dazed, yet wholly appreciative way as more and more parts of keith’s body are revealed.
when everything is stripped away and keith is standing in front of him bare, vulnerable, and nervous, shiro isn’t immediate in his reassurance. the silence stretches one beat, two beat longer than an answer calls for, but then lashes flutter and his blinks a few times, as though coming to. he drags his gaze up, over that cute bellybutton, between those half-dimes, and to that pair of beautiful eyes. he quirks a grin. ]
Sorry. Needed a moment. You’re kind of breathtaking.
[ he scoots forward to sit on the very edge of the bed. keith may not be hard yet, but shiro is; the way the pants pull during the scoot uncomfortable, but easily ignorable, because shiro’s busy framing keith’s hips with his hands. he leans in, bending down and kisses the junction of his right thigh. ]
Come lie on the bed for me. [ he lifts his head, looking up the length of keith’s body again to find his gaze, only to back off and look away, nodding toward the pillows at the head. ] Want you to be comfortable while I rock your world.
[ wouldn’t do either of them any good for keith to be standing there, knees buckling. ]
[ if you're good. this is the second time shiro has deflected the topic away from his own body and redirected to keith. is it meant to be teasing? relaxing? hell, is it even intentional? keith's head swims a little with uncertain possibilities as shiro eyes him up and down. it's -- fuck. anon must've done this too, but it hits differently when keith can so obviously see shiro's gaze lingering at each part of his body -- appraising? no. approving.
they lock eyes and keith's heart very stupidly skips a beat, face warming and moony. breathtaking. shiro thinks he's breathtaking. a little giddy, and plenty flustered by the sweetness of the compliment, keith laughs only to hiccup mid-sound as shiro leans in to mouth at his thigh. breath hitching, keith fidgets, fingers pushing down the base of his dick as it twitches as if to catch shiro's attention. plumping faster, ridges slowly start to take shape as his cock fills out. wanting to bask in the uncomplicated attention just a few seconds longer, keith keeps his hand partly covering the problem appendage. ]
You're breathtaking. You literally took it just now..
[ punctuating the banter with with a playful squeeze of shiro's bicep, keith releases after a beat. ]
It's nice... being able to tell you that.
[ more than nice, but keith isn't consciously downplaying. in fact, it's more that he's tongue tied and has a stomach full of butterflies. so before he jams his foot in his mouth again, keith clambers up onto the bed as instructed and positions himself on his side, face partly smooshed into the pillow as he rolls to face shiro. there, he delicately traces a line down his boyfriend's back, dragging fingertip over whole and scarred skin alike. ]
Sp you'll make me even more comfortable if you take everything off before getting in bed with me, Shiro.
[ he continues to be rather shy. it’s sweet and adorable, even given the context, but shiro would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to stripping keith of that self-consciousness, to the point that keith freely holds his hands back, widens his legs and bares everything for shiro to gawk at. patience yields focus. perhaps keith was onto something by trying to drill his own mantra into his lizard brained head. for now, shiro is good in that he doesn’t try brushing keith’s hand away. he doesn’t even try to take a peek of keith’s dick. patience yields focus, he tells himself again, smiling up at keith throughout.
but then keith is on the bed and shiro gets a very generous view of keith’s voluptuous backside as he crawls and clambers across the bedding. below those asscheeks and between those thighs, there’s the bob of keith’ cock, and for the briefest of moments, shiro catches an unintentional glimpse. it’s too quick and too partially hidden for him to truly understand it, but something inside him does. all at once, there’s a slight, burgeoning apprehension in the pit of his stomach.
but then keith is rolled over and shiro’s gaze is up where it should be, once again doing the courteous boyfriend thing of not staring at the anatomy that has keith particularly nervous. he understands; afterall, this will be the first time he'll be seeing keith hard. feeling and glimpsing it through his pants isn’t quite the same, so this is a monumental moment and one that shiro is intent on respecting. ]
Oh, will I? [ his grin is good-humored and crooked, flashed over his shoulder. ] I do want you comfortable, so… okay, if that’s what you want.
[ such a big ask, heh. reluctantly separating him from the exploration of keith’s fingertip, shiro stands. he’s already got his fly open by the time he turns around to face the bed. down go the pants and boxer-briefs in one go. if he truly were a patient man, he’d indulge keith in a slower, more deliberate strip. but unfortunately, shiro’s lacking the finesse as he tears his feet free from each pant leg, socks following shortly thereafter. with that, he’s on the bed and crawling, situating himself in close. ]
I’d ask you if you like what you see, but I think it’s pretty obvious…
[ has he been good long enough? patient long enough? can he look now? he touches his hand to keith’s hip and gives an experimental nudge, finding no resistance. encouraged, he leads keith through a roll onto his back. and then he drags his gaze down; down from keith’s face, over his sternum, through the contours of his abdominals and there, to the jut of his pelvis where his cock is…
not normal. familiarly abnormal. ] Oh, fuck. [ it slips out of him on the exhale that seemingly punches out of him. he’d made the comparisons in his head, all the while assuring himself it was nothing more than his desire for keith hijacking the situation and giving too much life to his fantasies. as much as he’d wanted keith, he hadn’t wanted him like that. not actually. but… he did? he has? because there’s too many similarities in his head now: the voice, the shape of his body, the birthmark, the timing of an identical transformation. now he has a dick with multiple ridges that he is silently counting in his head. same number, similar if not the same length, thickness, color…
[ the striptease is barely a tease, but keith watches with wide, fascinated eyes. shiro's a sight to behold with his solid, defined build and when his hard cock finally comes into view, keith actually gapes. he's only ever been familiar with the straining outline of it, or when shiro had simply been naked but not aroused. imagination does a lot of work without keith's permission though, and seeing shiro bare and wanting for the first time, keith's heart does another flutter, his own cock twitching harder.
if his lizard brain weren't so fucking immensely preoccupied, perhaps keith would have had greater presence of mind to wonder about the vague familiarity -- but then again, just how much variation can there really be to big dicks anyway? but more damningly, when shiro rolls him onto his back, keith goes willingly and lets his hand fall to the side.
cock now thick and ridged, it bounces up to meet shiro's gaze. even so, keith is sincerely hopeful enough about shiro's willingness to accept him that he simply exhales and offers up a shy smile. one look at shiro's face and that smile wilts. panic overtakes keith as he hurriedly sits up and covers his crotch. ]
I- if you don't like it, you don't have to...
[ touch? put it in his mouth? interact? keith fumbles, eyes darting towards the pile of his clothes on the floor. he should've seen this coming. shiro had made his reluctance to engage with alien anatomy abundantly clear back when keith was more galra looking, but how was keith supposed to mitigate this?
well. the answers are clearer in retrospect. he could have gently guided shiro's hand down to his cock while there were still clothes in the picture and invited the guy to explore with his hand, but it's far too late for that now. mortified and kicking himself, keith lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders slumping with his disappointment. ]
[ the window of opportunity to avert disaster is rapidly closing. there are steps, however. necessary moments, that shiro has to cycle through in order to get to that ever promising faucet of acceptance. there’s, what, five, six stages to grief? well, there's a similar amount to my boyfriend is kinkier than i thought. shock and denial are in quick succession, almost in tandem with each other. he counters the denial without even trying though, those damn similarities stacking easily, to the point that they’re too strong to refute. horror comes next, with him staring wide-eyed, still, at keith’s crotch – or the vicinity of it, since the boy has once again begun shielding it with his hands.
he’s two stages behind but keith is accelerating toward his own goal of averting disaster. whereas shiro is slogging through the gridlock of his brain to come to terms with the fact that he’s sexed up his best friend long before he had any allowance to, keith’s solution is to simply leave. he hasn’t moved to do as much, but shiro knows him; before he’s even said anything, his body speaks for him. it’s in the droop of his shoulders and the way he seemingly deflates, beaten up and broken down with disappointment.
shit.
get there faster, he tells himself. stop hinging on the fact that keith is so clearly outside the realm of what is deemed normal and vanilla. so what if keith likes to hide his identity and fuck? shiro does, too. they are the same. perhaps their reasons are even similar. the problem here though, is that shiro knows his own limitations. he fucked around with anonymity, yes, but only with one person in some watered down version of a relationship. has keith frequented other locations? other partners? how into this kink is keith, really?
i should go.
there it is. shiro isn’t there yet. he still somewhere between horror and reconciliation, but he panics in the moment, immediately exclaiming: ]
No! [ before he knows it, his own hand is on keith’s shoulder, not quite pushing him down, but firm enough to prevent him from shifting anywhere. swallowing in the following beat, shiro composes himself for a less rushed: ] No, you should stay.
[ gaze on keith’s face now, shiro tries to bolster his expression into something more encouraging. ]
I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting… [ you to be into being fucked through a door…? he grimaces, gaze dropping for a beat, before he remembers himself to force it back to keith’s face. ] There’s nothing wrong with it. I was surprised, but I’m fine, uhm… now.
[ the grip on his shoulder and sudden exclamation make keith flinch. the alarm is short-lived, but his heart continues to beat far too fast for comfort. his gaze flicks towards shiro for one beat, then next it's back on the pile of clothes on the floor. keith doesn't make any attempt to push shiro away, but eye contact just isn't happening.
how can it?
this isn't the first time that he's shown his dick to others, but it is by far the worst reaction it's received. not even lance of all people had reacted this strongly, though perhaps in part because keith had given him advance warning. ... and quite possibly the guy wanted to fuck a mermaid so it's not like abnormal genitals were ever a serious turn off.
heat continues to burn keith's cheeks and ears, despite the reassurance. of course there's nothing wrong with his cock, it's just .... keith hangs his head. ]
Listen. If this is a dealbreaker like how women are for you, you don't have to try to like me. I know you're not ..... you know. Into aliens like that.
[ fuck fuck fuck. the word is just going to be stuck on repeat in his head. he keeps his hand on keith throughout, both to ground him to this moment in which he feels wholly unmoored and to ensure that keith doesn’t make a dive for his clothes. he doesn’t quite trust that he’s appeased keith enough to prevent him from wanting to extract himself the moment shiro lets him go. though maybe he should; maybe it’s cruel of him to corner keith into staying like this. no. cruel would be him allowing keith to leave with things so murky and misrepresented.
that begs the question though: how clear does shiro want to be in explaining what the issue is?
he swallows, thinking of what coming clean would be like. it had taken him weeks, months to fully accept that he craved those hookups with anonymous. what if keith thinks of him differently as a result? what if he becomes the one freaking out? ]
It’s not a dealbreaker.
[ biding his time, he takes the cowardly option of weaving around the actual issue, hoping that he can set things right without dragging keith into this with him. he just needs time. time to come to terms with it himself. then he’ll break it to keith… when he himself knows how to process it. so he repeats: ]
I was surprised and I didn’t handle it well. [ understatement, if keith is currently putting himself in the same category as women in terms of shiro's level of disinterest. sighing, he turns more toward keith, touching his free hand to one of keith’s forearms. ] But I still want this and I still want you… unless I’ve turned you off so badly that you don’t want me…?
[ the hand at his forearm makes keith's gaze shift away from his clothes. he doesn't feel much calmer, but he wills it with deeper, slow breaths and gives his tense shoulders a roll. the question is absurd because of course he wants shiro, but there's no denying that his cock has gone soft in the midst of this panic.
he keeps his eyes on shiro's hand for a long beat before finally looking up at his boyfriend, expression a blend of sheepish, shy and hopeful. ]
I always want you.
[ it's a complicated kind of want, and not one that keith is always sure he wants to examie. porn prison fuckery has somehow brought the two of them together, despite the breaks in space-time or by plucking them from alternate realities. whatever the case, there's a shiro back home with white hair and a missing arm who's more than millions of light-years away. even when they're together, it's like they don't know how to talk to each other anymore.
clones, death and being replaced have a way of doing that, keith supposes.
this shiro may not be his shiro - or maybe he is? either way, when keith looks at him, he feels less adrift, less alone in the world. like maybe their bond can survive the war in some way, despite the hurt and confusion rhwy're all enduring..
keith blinks, then clears his throat. thinking about all this is the last thing he ought to be doing when it only opens up chasms in his chest, huh? he looks away briefly to gather himself then offers up a shy smile as he leans in close, shifting the hand on his crotch away to instead perch on shiro's hip. ]
Guess I should have warned you. I just... don't know how to talk about it.. In a way that doesn't sound super weird and unsexy.
[ … ah, shit. it’s odd to find himself feeling guilty all of a sudden, but having keith look at him like that, all the while saying he always wants him is… humbling. devastating. he’s such a sweetheart, with the kind of steadfast affection that, sometimes, leaves shiro feeling winded. right now is one of those moments. his lungs quiver and his breath hitches, his own expression going sweet and besotted, so thoroughly seduced by something that shouldn’t read wholesome as they both sit here ass naked. but that’s what shiro is: seduced. not just in body but in heart and mind, as well. it has him bending under the weight of guilt and truth, all prior certainty that he’d carry the knowledge of anonymous’ identity to another time, perhaps even to his grave, dispersing and once again leaving him at the beginning, to wonder if he should come clean now.
keith does deserve to know, he supposes. when neither of them knew – no, he didn’t need to know. but now that shiro has stumbled into this knowledge, the imbalance is too great to ignore. it’s wrong otherwise, for shiro to proceed by pleasing this boy while keith thinks this is the very first time. if keith is going to be with him, he has to make that decision with the full picture.
… god, shiro hopes he still wants to be with him after this. just – he broke a door. and he’s pretty sure he took his virginity, only to throw a fit about it later. and he left him that one time to go give “other” him a thirty minute orgasm. oh, fuck, he also ghosted him.
his head is beginning to hurt. he’s grimacing, eyes shuttering as every moment together pieces together, overlapping the two separate lives. as disruptive as this known identity is, it also explains a lot of things. like keith walking with a slight limp after a fuck with anonymous. like keith’s voice being hoarse after anonymous mouth spent a good portion of their hook up deepthroating. like how – okay no, he’s getting sidetracked.
keith leans in and shiro instantly forces what he hopes is a convincing smile when keith offers a shy one his way. he’s not covering his crotch anymore; that’s a good sign. what isn’t is that keith has completely lost all those lovely ridges, his arousal completely drained out of him. shiro swallows back the urge to sigh miserably, the facade of that smile cracking a little more. ]
You can talk to me about anything. [ at least that’s genuine in pitch and meaning. he leans in further to peck keith’s forehead, though it’s mostly just hair he gets and then he leans back to look at him again. ] Just like I can talk to you about anything.
[ it’s difficult at times but shiro has gotten better about that. he’s talked of his time as a prisoner, his fears, his insecurities… and he supposes he’s about to talk about kinks. there’s an obvious beat of hesitation as he wrestles his cooperativeness into actually making his mouth form words. ]
In fact, I think there’s something I need to talk to you about right now.
[ the touch and kiss are both reassuring. those words, however, are not. ]
Oh.
[ the quiet syllable escapes before keith can think better of it. likewise, hhis eyes go a little wide and startled before keith is able to properly button down the trepidation. judging from shiro's tone and serious expression, whatever he has to say can't be any god, which begs the question of what exactly needs to be disclosed specifically before sex.
for better or for worse, one possible answer comes relatively quickly. if they need to talk about something serious prior to sex, then it's likely an std, right? again before keith can think better of it, his gaze shifts down to shiro's cock before blinking back up at his boyfriend's face.
what good exactly does staring at dick do when dealing with possible alien stds that may not manifest externally? flustering keith stammers: ]
[ okay. he probably could have eased into this with a more comforting flare. between keith’s dismal oh and the startled look upon his face, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that shiro’s making this exceedingly more difficult than it needs to be. remedy tactic number one: take keith’s hands in his. remedy tactic number two: smile encouragingly. ]
Yeah. Everything is fine.
[ everything is not fine. he’s freaking out. there’s a clatter in his chest and a sweatiness to his nape. he’s far too warm in the face, too, which is only aiding in that overheated, panicky feeling zipping through him. he draws a breath, trying to steady his composure. ]
It’s just… okay.
[ it’s so easy. one sentence, two sentences max and he could clear this up: i’m the anonymous penpal you used to meet up with at the house up by the pool, i’m sorry i just figured it out myself, hence the reaction to your dick, which is lovely by the way. instead, he mucks it up by trying to gently lay the groundwork of the revelation. ]
I’ve wanted you for a long time. I fought it for just as long because I’m a bit of a fool. But even then, I used to fantasize about you when I was with someone else. When we were together, I’d like to pretend that he was you. But it turns out I didn’t need to pretend.
[ he gives his hands twin squeezes, not at all comprehending that he isn’t making any sort of sense. ]
[ it's with some effort that shiro gets his demeanor to shift, though it doesn't wholly dispel the way keith has himself convinced he has to brace for some weird news. if everything's fine, then there wouldn't be a need to make a fuss about it in the first place, right?
so maybe it's not an std, but clearly it's something embarrassing if the way shiro's gone red-faced has anything to say about it. keith is out of guesses though, and soon finds himself pulled down an equally bizarre rabbit hole wherein shiro is seemingly confessing to thinking about him while banging other men -- toji and whoever else, and keith is once again unable to keep his degree of perplexion off his face. it hits in waves, really. shiro never talks about the other guys he's with, never mind the sorts of fantasies he has. keith's barely shifted through the ugly jealous possessiveness that flares to life when the last bombshell drops. ]
What?
[ blurted out and thoroughly ill-advised, keith pulls back somewhat to get a better look at shiro's face. there's enough bullshit that goes on in porn prison that the meaning doesn't even register immediately. ]
How was Toji me, exactly?
[ the question is entirely nonsensical, but keith doesn't know how else to parse this conundrum. ]
[ between the two of them, the one with the fixation on toji isn’t shiro. a one time fling, done entirely through a device, and still, half a year later, the name is brought up like shiro had a relationship with the dude. for all shiro knows, that guy finished out his sentence and went home, that’s how little he thinks of him. in fact, the only time shiro does think of him is in moments like this. least to say, he’s blindsided and thrown, expression slacking with confusion. ]
… What?
[ so a bit of echoing going on here. he doesn’t want to give into the exasperation just begging to take over and he tries, really tries not to become frustrated with having that blasted name thrown in his face, again, especially when shiro is trying to explain something of importance here. blame the fact that he’s already agitated and nervous for the way he lets go of keith’s hands, sighing at keith’s ability to not only misunderstand, but to jump to a completely unrelated topic. ]
[ confusion detonates when it's met with shiro's exasperated judgment. keith flusters all the more, scooting further back like physical distance will lend greater perspective. surprising nobody at all, it doesn't.
keith blurts, clearly chagrined and a pinch defensive. ]
How am I not supposed to get Toji from that?! You said you were fantasizing about me while you were with some other guy and that it tirmed out to be me, but we've -- you and I, we never --
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
i remain nervous about this
Uh-huh.
[ his lifts his gaze from shiro's mouth to his eyes, eyebrow raised. look, he's not even cringing at the more callout, despite still very much thinking his meaning had been obvious from the start. ]
I might've noticed a little that your lips are cute when you pout.
[ keith laughs, still a little lost on how shiro threads the needle between adorable and powerful. keith glances over his shoulder towards the plusj, sighing as if weighing out pros and cons for a life or death decision. that's all the levity shiro gets though before keith steps back in close, stopping in front of shiro when their knees knock. ]
You know.... you and the wolf are both my favorites to be around. But I only have one boyfriend. That's you.
[ he leans in, hands planted on either side of shiro's hips. ]
So. Do I get to say patience yields focus here?
i still laugh-cringe about them renting a hotel room to fight
yes, good, good, come closer. knees knock, but shiro can be helpful – just another reason as to why keith should kiss him – so he splits his thighs and empties the space, giving keith access and room if he wants it. not yet, it seems, and that’s fine, really, because keith’s leaning instead and calling shiro one of his favorites to be around. at least he doesn’t have to fight the space wolf on the boyfriend part. might have to for title of best boy, though.
later. he’ll figure out the imagined competition with the dog later, because right now, he’s currently winning and he’d like to enjoy taking a victory lap - or two, three – with keith. so he abandons the pouting altogether and smiles sweetly, face tipping as he arches up. ]
You can say it. [ shiro could probably benefit from being reminded of it. though, chances are low that he’ll adhere to it. ] And then you can kiss me.
listen hey cant distress the babies.
Patience. Yields. Focus.
[ each word is emphasized with tiny breaks between, drawn out so keith can savor the role reversal. he opens his eyes, then huffs a quiet little laugh, the next couple of words mere whispers. ]
Guess I'm an old-timer now, too.
[ fate sealed, keith tops it off by finally pressing in to take that kiss shiro's been eager for. it's still chaste at first, but lingering and sweet. right around when keith would normally break away though, he swallows, gripping the sheets tight as he pushes himself into shiro's lap,.
true. they cant fight either with bitchface yowling
patience yields focus, yeah? there will be no rush to pull up shirts or undo zippers, neither will he force the lingering pressure of keith’s lips off as he tries for something deeper. not yet. they can indulge in the slow, carefulness of every moment, cataloging each in what is certain to be a memorable night. he will, however, start by touching his palms to keith’s waist, smoothing down to grasp him gently at the hips. then not so gently. he tightens to feel the fit and frame of him under fabric, thinking that he’s got such a gorgeous shape. an unbelievable shape, actually. he’s got a trim waistline and these lovely, yet narrow hips, and somehow, still has a round, firm, meaty backside. it’s weighty on his thighs and suddenly, shiro would like to know it better.
patience yields focus. right, patience. he’s supposed to be patient in this slow seduction. he knows it, he wants it that way, too, but his hands pull anyway, dragging keith by the hips the few inches left to get them crotch to crotch, that ass so close, but not there that it’s a touch maddening. he sucks at keith’s bottom lip and gives it a parting nip to make up for it, his mouth straying but not leaving as he kisses down to his jawline. ]
How you doin’?
[ a little slurred due to the muffling of his still busy mouth, shiro noses underneath the sharp angle of keith’s jaw and further still, to lick and nip at his neck. at least this is familiar. they’ve heavy petted and kissed just as heavy, leaving the occasional hickey. keith’s nervous, though. they both are. but shiro is quickly gaining ground in his confidence, losing himself as he ducks lower and starts sucking at his throat, a few inches higher than the set of his collarbone. the slide of his hand can’t be corralled either; left goes back and cups a cheek, shiro already delighted by how it fits in his hand when he squeezes. ]
yea can't have shiro distracted by pavlovian reflex to fetch doritos
keith obediently tips his head back to grant his boyfriend greater access to his neck, and lets out a soft noise when lips move and suck. whatever thoughts keith had fizzle as he abandons his grip on the sheets to cradle the back of shiro's head with one, while the other idly scratches up shiro's thigh.
what can he say? the hickeys he'd seen on other cadets and inmates had always looked kinda stupid, but hypocrite that he is, having visible signs of shiro's affection on his body is something that never ceases to make him go a little doe eyed in private. does shiro feel the same way about that? the squeeze at his ass is momentarily derailing, keith gasping by shiro's ear. his own grip goes tight on quad then, squeezing -- not hard enough to bruise but temptation runs hot in his arteries. ]
Great.
[ sounding just a pinch dreamy, keith shifts enough to catch the shell of shiro's ear with his teeth to nip and whisper. ]
Didn't know I'd get a nice welcome reception for the old-timer life.
[ it's not what shiro meant, but keith can't help teasing all the same. he releases shiro's ear, purring a little through the gentle suction at his throat. ]
Should I be reminding you to be patient more often?
he doesn't want her to waste away again 8c
he drops down further, both to get his ear away from the devastatingly effectiveness of that mouth and to press a kiss into the divot between his collarbones, just barely visible above the shirt’s collar. ]
You can. [ shiro loves seeing his lessons applied by others or in this case, his mantra adopted by his once protégé. he lifts his head, though stays bowed to look up at keith instead. there, he quirks a grin. ] Don’t expect me to be a devout follower, though.
[ he demonstrates this by giving keith’s ass another appreciative squeeze. goodness, it’s firm. some detail is, regretfully, lost with jean in the way, but the muscular shape of it is easy enough to discern. he doesn’t have to fill in any of the lost details with his imagination, though, does he? not tonight, because – ]
I’ve been patient. [ he sits up straighter and lifts his head. ] You’ve been patient. [ and a lean that’ll bump his nose to keith’s, nuzzling sweetly as metal fingers slot in between their bodies to pop the button of keith’s jeans. ] I think patient boys should be rewarded now.
... I'M SAD ._.
intimacy with shiro is both a tantalizing prospect and a daunting one. for starters, shiro may have seen him naked before, aroused even, but not in a way that would lead to questions about his cock. since being in prison, he knows from experience that most don't bother to question it beyond a few curious glances, but frankly shiro's opinion actually matters. compound that with keith's own stubborn refusal to deal with sexuality in a healthy manner and there's so much that could go wrong.
it won't go wrong is what keith automatically tells himself, but with the button of his pants now open , he misses his cue to banter after he laughs. the silence is brief but awkward as keith turns a little shy in shiro's lap. should he be telling shiro about his dick? he's wondered before, but mentally aborted the train of thought when descriptors like bumpy sounded far too fucking awful to manifest into reality. unsurprisingly, having his boyfriend's hand ready to undress him does not provide a jolt of poetic inspiration. he clears his throat. ]
Yeah?
[ fuck. tongue tied, keith tries to distract from that by dragging his hand down low to the hem of shiro's shirt. another beat, the he flips up the fabric to rest his palm flat on abs. it's not the first time he's touched shiro this way, but there's a distinctly exploratory quality to his touch. almost contemplative really before keith brings his other hand down and starts to lift the hem of the shirt up to start pulling the shirt up and over shiro's head. ]
That mean I get to do whatever I want?
[ within reason, of course, but the question is more tease than serious. ]
shhhh let's not think of bitchface and huey in the bad au...
he’s better about his body these days. sure, some days he refuses to catch even a glimpse of himself in the full-length mirrors in the locker rooms, while others he spends too much time surveying every patch of knitted skin, but overall, he’s lost the luxury of being self-conscious about what others think of him. even then, it’s not so much other people that shiro cares about. the only opinion that matters anymore is whether or not keith finds him attractive. acceptable. and he does. he’s seen the worst of his body on display and still wants to try this thing between them, so he shouldn't be nervous or doubtful.
it’s a reassuring thought that shiro mostly believes and one that carries him through the moments of the shirt being worked up and pulled off. bare, there’s a rush of vulnerability that has shiro tensing, but it’s a brief, nothing thing. one full breath and he smiles on the exhale, voice playful for the quip back. ]
Or have whatever you want done to you.
[ keith will be getting a brief ride here because shiro’s thighs start moving in small, slight jerks. he’s taking off his shoes. one foot digs into the heel of the other shoe, working it off, before repeating the action to the other. throughout, shiro holds onto keith’s hips with one hand, the other still at his fly, fingering the button. ]
For example… [ shoes dealt with, he stills his legs once more. the whole thing only seems to brighten his mood and so, his voice remains light and teasing, all said through an ever widening grin. ] I could suck you off. All you have to do is say the word.
yes this is cringetown
ridculous, maybe? but with the shirt gone, keith's touch is gentle when he sets his hands on shiro's shoulders. ... and then not so much when he's jostled from beneath. keith laughs, grip tightening then loosening up in quick measur with twin coaxing squeezes. shiro really is determined to be impatient today, huh? honestly, it's kind of thrilling despite his low key concerns.
the counteroffer is what what makes keith's laughter turn shy again though, considering. anything he wants? fuck, where does he even start with that. aphro fueled experiences are best left unexamined, but that leaves him with all his times with anon. his mostly non-verbal exchanges with anon, that is. towards the end, he'd merely presented the part s of his body he wanted touched and hoped anon knew what he was getting at. anon had always been good at figuring it out, but then again it's sex not rocket science.
mercifully, shiro spares him from actually having to articulate much of anything. the offer of a blow is all but pushed into his lap and keith can't help going a little pink and doe eyed about it, stupidly virginal despite the fact that he's had his dick sucked before.
it's just .... he's never been asked explicitly. it's new and weirdly enough -- kind of hot. caught wanting to laugh at himself, keith huffs, stifles it and settles himself by squeezing shior's shoulders another time as he nods. ]
.. Open sesame? [ ... ] Wait.. That's two words.
[ flustering, keith hangs his head. ]
You know what I mean.
[ fuck. don't tell him he's already messing up this whole "sexy" thing. ]
we are so close to The Crisis
least to say, it’s a lot of pressure he’s putting on himself. the wait has only given him time to set his expectations high and he just… hopes he’s able to rise to the challenge and meet them.
he laughs to keith’s fumbling, the sound soft and his smile fond as not to scare this skittish thing off. he gives keith’s hip an answering squeeze and then ducks down to push his face into keith’s line of sight. he nuzzles in again, using the brunt of his nose to nudge against keith in short, upward sweeps, coaxing him to lift his head. ]
I do.
[ know what he means. he laughs again, and muffles it soon enough by pressing a gentle kiss to keith’s mouth. he lingers for a time and then slowly deepens the pressure and wets the connection with parted lips. thorough and indulgent, he tries to sap the tension with a play of lips and tongue, inevitably breaking away for a shallow breath and a heated: ]
Can’t wait to have you in my mouth.
[ a parting, playful nip at his upper lip and then shiro leans back some, grin holding a boyish sort of confidence. ]
You’re gonna have to get off me, though. I’m not that flexible.
You'll Feel Better Soon.....
keith's heart swells as they kiss from chaste to a slow taste of moremore with shiro. tht image he paints right there at the end of shiro suckingand adoring his cock? it makes keith keith moan a little into the kiss, the shiver going straight to his cock when shiro parts with a nip.
right around here when his dick is dangerously on the verge of firming up is where they'd have called it quits normally. talking dirty, and egging each other on is a new part of the boyfriend repertoire that keith hasn't mastered yet and hasn't ever attempted with anyone else. does he know how to suck a thick dick? sure. can he take one without panicking? of course..
can he be sexy and flirt and all the other things that go hand in hand with intimate relations? it's a big ask, and keith winds up going a little shy in his laughter. ]
Right.
[ ...right. a beat then keith untangles his limbs and carefully hops on the floor, hands on his hips as he draws down the zipper of his jeans. he swallows nervously, hesitating and delaying by shuffling to get his feet out of his sneakers and then stepping on the ends of his sockss one after another to get his feet free. ]
How flexible are you anyway? Do I get to see?
[ the question is casual enough, helped by a healthy dose of genuine curiosity. even so, keith doesn't quite look shiro in the eye as he pulls his shirt up over, tosses it to the side and then finally hooks his fingers in the waistband of his jeans and boxers and pulls both down. a good amount of nervousness keeps his dick from being entirely hard, keeping all ridgey bits hidden but he doubts that'll stay true for long. resisting the urge to squirm, keith steps out of the puddle of his jeans and underwar and comes to stand in front of shiro. ]
And uh... how do you want me?
[ standing? on the bed? bent into a pretzel? ]
i pictured the pokestation perfectly in my brain & started laughing, i want you to know that
If you’re good.
[ it’s an appeasing comment, one said with a lazy smile, despite him inwardly turning the comment over and over, trying to understand it himself. does keith want to test his flexibility like shiro tests flexibility? does he want to push his legs up and see if he can get his knees to his ears? they had that brief hiccup on the walk back from the carnival; it’s not all that unlikely that, initially, keith had pictured shiro as the one laid out, legs pulled back to present his hole. they sorted it out for tonight, but maybe keith will want that eventually. is shiro okay with doing that eventually?
as always, he sticks a pin in that neverending debate, knowing that going far-eyed and distracted while keith is stripping right in front of him, will do nothing good for keith’s confidence. it isn’t all that difficult for shiro to tell himself to refocus, either. the shirt is off and keith is, in a word, pretty. creamy skin, strong shoulders, tapered torso that leads to a tiny waist. he’s gorgeous. this would be a good time for shiro to join in the undressing – get it out of the way, right? – but his hands remain in his lap and his gaze stays, blinking slow in a dazed, yet wholly appreciative way as more and more parts of keith’s body are revealed.
when everything is stripped away and keith is standing in front of him bare, vulnerable, and nervous, shiro isn’t immediate in his reassurance. the silence stretches one beat, two beat longer than an answer calls for, but then lashes flutter and his blinks a few times, as though coming to. he drags his gaze up, over that cute bellybutton, between those half-dimes, and to that pair of beautiful eyes. he quirks a grin. ]
Sorry. Needed a moment. You’re kind of breathtaking.
[ he scoots forward to sit on the very edge of the bed. keith may not be hard yet, but shiro is; the way the pants pull during the scoot uncomfortable, but easily ignorable, because shiro’s busy framing keith’s hips with his hands. he leans in, bending down and kisses the junction of his right thigh. ]
Come lie on the bed for me. [ he lifts his head, looking up the length of keith’s body again to find his gaze, only to back off and look away, nodding toward the pillows at the head. ] Want you to be comfortable while I rock your world.
[ wouldn’t do either of them any good for keith to be standing there, knees buckling. ]
GOOD =w=
they lock eyes and keith's heart very stupidly skips a beat, face warming and moony. breathtaking. shiro thinks he's breathtaking. a little giddy, and plenty flustered by the sweetness of the compliment, keith laughs only to hiccup mid-sound as shiro leans in to mouth at his thigh. breath hitching, keith fidgets, fingers pushing down the base of his dick as it twitches as if to catch shiro's attention. plumping faster, ridges slowly start to take shape as his cock fills out. wanting to bask in the uncomplicated attention just a few seconds longer, keith keeps his hand partly covering the problem appendage. ]
You're breathtaking. You literally took it just now..
[ punctuating the banter with with a playful squeeze of shiro's bicep, keith releases after a beat. ]
It's nice... being able to tell you that.
[ more than nice, but keith isn't consciously downplaying. in fact, it's more that he's tongue tied and has a stomach full of butterflies. so before he jams his foot in his mouth again, keith clambers up onto the bed as instructed and positions himself on his side, face partly smooshed into the pillow as he rolls to face shiro. there, he delicately traces a line down his boyfriend's back, dragging fingertip over whole and scarred skin alike. ]
Sp you'll make me even more comfortable if you take everything off before getting in bed with me, Shiro.
no subject
but then keith is on the bed and shiro gets a very generous view of keith’s voluptuous backside as he crawls and clambers across the bedding. below those asscheeks and between those thighs, there’s the bob of keith’ cock, and for the briefest of moments, shiro catches an unintentional glimpse. it’s too quick and too partially hidden for him to truly understand it, but something inside him does. all at once, there’s a slight, burgeoning apprehension in the pit of his stomach.
but then keith is rolled over and shiro’s gaze is up where it should be, once again doing the courteous boyfriend thing of not staring at the anatomy that has keith particularly nervous. he understands; afterall, this will be the first time he'll be seeing keith hard. feeling and glimpsing it through his pants isn’t quite the same, so this is a monumental moment and one that shiro is intent on respecting. ]
Oh, will I? [ his grin is good-humored and crooked, flashed over his shoulder. ] I do want you comfortable, so… okay, if that’s what you want.
[ such a big ask, heh. reluctantly separating him from the exploration of keith’s fingertip, shiro stands. he’s already got his fly open by the time he turns around to face the bed. down go the pants and boxer-briefs in one go. if he truly were a patient man, he’d indulge keith in a slower, more deliberate strip. but unfortunately, shiro’s lacking the finesse as he tears his feet free from each pant leg, socks following shortly thereafter. with that, he’s on the bed and crawling, situating himself in close. ]
I’d ask you if you like what you see, but I think it’s pretty obvious…
[ has he been good long enough? patient long enough? can he look now? he touches his hand to keith’s hip and gives an experimental nudge, finding no resistance. encouraged, he leads keith through a roll onto his back. and then he drags his gaze down; down from keith’s face, over his sternum, through the contours of his abdominals and there, to the jut of his pelvis where his cock is…
not normal. familiarly abnormal. ] Oh, fuck. [ it slips out of him on the exhale that seemingly punches out of him. he’d made the comparisons in his head, all the while assuring himself it was nothing more than his desire for keith hijacking the situation and giving too much life to his fantasies. as much as he’d wanted keith, he hadn’t wanted him like that. not actually. but… he did? he has? because there’s too many similarities in his head now: the voice, the shape of his body, the birthmark, the timing of an identical transformation. now he has a dick with multiple ridges that he is silently counting in his head. same number, similar if not the same length, thickness, color…
oh fuck is right. keith frequents gloryholes? ]
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if his lizard brain weren't so fucking immensely preoccupied, perhaps keith would have had greater presence of mind to wonder about the vague familiarity -- but then again, just how much variation can there really be to big dicks anyway? but more damningly, when shiro rolls him onto his back, keith goes willingly and lets his hand fall to the side.
cock now thick and ridged, it bounces up to meet shiro's gaze. even so, keith is sincerely hopeful enough about shiro's willingness to accept him that he simply exhales and offers up a shy smile. one look at shiro's face and that smile wilts. panic overtakes keith as he hurriedly sits up and covers his crotch. ]
I- if you don't like it, you don't have to...
[ touch? put it in his mouth? interact? keith fumbles, eyes darting towards the pile of his clothes on the floor. he should've seen this coming. shiro had made his reluctance to engage with alien anatomy abundantly clear back when keith was more galra looking, but how was keith supposed to mitigate this?
well. the answers are clearer in retrospect. he could have gently guided shiro's hand down to his cock while there were still clothes in the picture and invited the guy to explore with his hand, but it's far too late for that now. mortified and kicking himself, keith lets out a heavy sigh, shoulders slumping with his disappointment. ]
I should go.
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he’s two stages behind but keith is accelerating toward his own goal of averting disaster. whereas shiro is slogging through the gridlock of his brain to come to terms with the fact that he’s sexed up his best friend long before he had any allowance to, keith’s solution is to simply leave. he hasn’t moved to do as much, but shiro knows him; before he’s even said anything, his body speaks for him. it’s in the droop of his shoulders and the way he seemingly deflates, beaten up and broken down with disappointment.
shit.
get there faster, he tells himself. stop hinging on the fact that keith is so clearly outside the realm of what is deemed normal and vanilla. so what if keith likes to hide his identity and fuck? shiro does, too. they are the same. perhaps their reasons are even similar. the problem here though, is that shiro knows his own limitations. he fucked around with anonymity, yes, but only with one person in some watered down version of a relationship. has keith frequented other locations? other partners? how into this kink is keith, really?
i should go.
there it is. shiro isn’t there yet. he still somewhere between horror and reconciliation, but he panics in the moment, immediately exclaiming: ]
No! [ before he knows it, his own hand is on keith’s shoulder, not quite pushing him down, but firm enough to prevent him from shifting anywhere. swallowing in the following beat, shiro composes himself for a less rushed: ] No, you should stay.
[ gaze on keith’s face now, shiro tries to bolster his expression into something more encouraging. ]
I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting… [ you to be into being fucked through a door…? he grimaces, gaze dropping for a beat, before he remembers himself to force it back to keith’s face. ] There’s nothing wrong with it. I was surprised, but I’m fine, uhm… now.
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how can it?
this isn't the first time that he's shown his dick to others, but it is by far the worst reaction it's received. not even lance of all people had reacted this strongly, though perhaps in part because keith had given him advance warning. ... and quite possibly the guy wanted to fuck a mermaid so it's not like abnormal genitals were ever a serious turn off.
heat continues to burn keith's cheeks and ears, despite the reassurance. of course there's nothing wrong with his cock, it's just .... keith hangs his head. ]
Listen. If this is a dealbreaker like how women are for you, you don't have to try to like me. I know you're not ..... you know. Into aliens like that.
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that begs the question though: how clear does shiro want to be in explaining what the issue is?
he swallows, thinking of what coming clean would be like. it had taken him weeks, months to fully accept that he craved those hookups with anonymous. what if keith thinks of him differently as a result? what if he becomes the one freaking out? ]
It’s not a dealbreaker.
[ biding his time, he takes the cowardly option of weaving around the actual issue, hoping that he can set things right without dragging keith into this with him. he just needs time. time to come to terms with it himself. then he’ll break it to keith… when he himself knows how to process it. so he repeats: ]
I was surprised and I didn’t handle it well. [ understatement, if keith is currently putting himself in the same category as women in terms of shiro's level of disinterest. sighing, he turns more toward keith, touching his free hand to one of keith’s forearms. ] But I still want this and I still want you… unless I’ve turned you off so badly that you don’t want me…?
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he keeps his eyes on shiro's hand for a long beat before finally looking up at his boyfriend, expression a blend of sheepish, shy and hopeful. ]
I always want you.
[ it's a complicated kind of want, and not one that keith is always sure he wants to examie. porn prison fuckery has somehow brought the two of them together, despite the breaks in space-time or by plucking them from alternate realities. whatever the case, there's a shiro back home with white hair and a missing arm who's more than millions of light-years away. even when they're together, it's like they don't know how to talk to each other anymore.
clones, death and being replaced have a way of doing that, keith supposes.
this shiro may not be his shiro - or maybe he is? either way, when keith looks at him, he feels less adrift, less alone in the world. like maybe their bond can survive the war in some way, despite the hurt and confusion rhwy're all enduring..
keith blinks, then clears his throat. thinking about all this is the last thing he ought to be doing when it only opens up chasms in his chest, huh? he looks away briefly to gather himself then offers up a shy smile as he leans in close, shifting the hand on his crotch away to instead perch on shiro's hip. ]
Guess I should have warned you. I just... don't know how to talk about it.. In a way that doesn't sound super weird and unsexy.
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keith does deserve to know, he supposes. when neither of them knew – no, he didn’t need to know. but now that shiro has stumbled into this knowledge, the imbalance is too great to ignore. it’s wrong otherwise, for shiro to proceed by pleasing this boy while keith thinks this is the very first time. if keith is going to be with him, he has to make that decision with the full picture.
… god, shiro hopes he still wants to be with him after this. just – he broke a door. and he’s pretty sure he took his virginity, only to throw a fit about it later. and he left him that one time to go give “other” him a thirty minute orgasm. oh, fuck, he also ghosted him.
his head is beginning to hurt. he’s grimacing, eyes shuttering as every moment together pieces together, overlapping the two separate lives. as disruptive as this known identity is, it also explains a lot of things. like keith walking with a slight limp after a fuck with anonymous. like keith’s voice being hoarse after anonymous mouth spent a good portion of their hook up deepthroating. like how – okay no, he’s getting sidetracked.
keith leans in and shiro instantly forces what he hopes is a convincing smile when keith offers a shy one his way. he’s not covering his crotch anymore; that’s a good sign. what isn’t is that keith has completely lost all those lovely ridges, his arousal completely drained out of him. shiro swallows back the urge to sigh miserably, the facade of that smile cracking a little more. ]
You can talk to me about anything. [ at least that’s genuine in pitch and meaning. he leans in further to peck keith’s forehead, though it’s mostly just hair he gets and then he leans back to look at him again. ] Just like I can talk to you about anything.
[ it’s difficult at times but shiro has gotten better about that. he’s talked of his time as a prisoner, his fears, his insecurities… and he supposes he’s about to talk about kinks. there’s an obvious beat of hesitation as he wrestles his cooperativeness into actually making his mouth form words. ]
In fact, I think there’s something I need to talk to you about right now.
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Oh.
[ the quiet syllable escapes before keith can think better of it. likewise, hhis eyes go a little wide and startled before keith is able to properly button down the trepidation. judging from shiro's tone and serious expression, whatever he has to say can't be any god, which begs the question of what exactly needs to be disclosed specifically before sex.
for better or for worse, one possible answer comes relatively quickly. if they need to talk about something serious prior to sex, then it's likely an std, right? again before keith can think better of it, his gaze shifts down to shiro's cock before blinking back up at his boyfriend's face.
what good exactly does staring at dick do when dealing with possible alien stds that may not manifest externally? flustering keith stammers: ]
Um, yeah. Okay. Is uh... is everything okay?
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Yeah. Everything is fine.
[ everything is not fine. he’s freaking out. there’s a clatter in his chest and a sweatiness to his nape. he’s far too warm in the face, too, which is only aiding in that overheated, panicky feeling zipping through him. he draws a breath, trying to steady his composure. ]
It’s just… okay.
[ it’s so easy. one sentence, two sentences max and he could clear this up: i’m the anonymous penpal you used to meet up with at the house up by the pool, i’m sorry i just figured it out myself, hence the reaction to your dick, which is lovely by the way. instead, he mucks it up by trying to gently lay the groundwork of the revelation. ]
I’ve wanted you for a long time. I fought it for just as long because I’m a bit of a fool. But even then, I used to fantasize about you when I was with someone else. When we were together, I’d like to pretend that he was you. But it turns out I didn’t need to pretend.
[ he gives his hands twin squeezes, not at all comprehending that he isn’t making any sort of sense. ]
He was you.
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so maybe it's not an std, but clearly it's something embarrassing if the way shiro's gone red-faced has anything to say about it. keith is out of guesses though, and soon finds himself pulled down an equally bizarre rabbit hole wherein shiro is seemingly confessing to thinking about him while banging other men -- toji and whoever else, and keith is once again unable to keep his degree of perplexion off his face. it hits in waves, really. shiro never talks about the other guys he's with, never mind the sorts of fantasies he has. keith's barely shifted through the ugly jealous possessiveness that flares to life when the last bombshell drops. ]
What?
[ blurted out and thoroughly ill-advised, keith pulls back somewhat to get a better look at shiro's face. there's enough bullshit that goes on in porn prison that the meaning doesn't even register immediately. ]
How was Toji me, exactly?
[ the question is entirely nonsensical, but keith doesn't know how else to parse this conundrum. ]
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… What?
[ so a bit of echoing going on here. he doesn’t want to give into the exasperation just begging to take over and he tries, really tries not to become frustrated with having that blasted name thrown in his face, again, especially when shiro is trying to explain something of importance here. blame the fact that he’s already agitated and nervous for the way he lets go of keith’s hands, sighing at keith’s ability to not only misunderstand, but to jump to a completely unrelated topic. ]
How did you get Toji from that?
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keith blurts, clearly chagrined and a pinch defensive. ]
How am I not supposed to get Toji from that?! You said you were fantasizing about me while you were with some other guy and that it tirmed out to be me, but we've -- you and I, we never --
2/2
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Fitting, that I end with the morning porn.
i feel contractually obligated to tag this so you have more morning porn
i am mid-morning porning. i am losing my edge.
it is still morning porn, it counts??
Coffee, actual food breakfast and porn; you're set up for a wonderful day
it's true, my day was stacked
and here we go again with an attack of tags
and now it is my turn to morning porn....
and so it continues
shl it really does because here i am... in the morning. writing filth
two morning porns in one day, what is happening
THREE.
This isn't morning porn but... Does it still count.
i say yes in spirit.
here i am to sin
or bless jizzus's birthday...??
How can one comment box hold so much curse
it is a mystery
p sure the answer to the mystery is you
but i am such a good bean....
you are, you are, i appreciate you at 7:30 AM. i've doomed us all.
ah. so i should expect another blizzard then.
YOU BETTER NOT GET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE. DON'T EVEN JINX IT
sfhjkls ok
i am leaving you on read here bc you left me on read elsewhere
BY ACCIDENT!! also happy first tag of 2023
my first tag was wholesome and yours was filth, ic how this year is going to pan out
YOU TOLD ME TO???
i am being slandered per usual
I SAID SO MANY NICE THINGS ON THAT LOVE MEE.
OKAY TRUE and it touched my lil heart ; ~ ; ty for being so kind
/wears my good bean badge
this once, you deserve it
I ALWAYS deserve this badge
what about when you're talking about people being trampled at walmart
LISTEN i take no joy in that??? i was merely making cultural observations.
UH HUH. walmart is our place of worship apparently
LISTEN. I AM ONLY POINTING OUT POINTS ONF DIFFERENCE.
i want you to know, that every time i go to walmart now, i think of this "cultural difference"
sfdhjskl does that count as enhancement...
... i suppose i must now add walmart to the list
lol the list of enhanced words is incredible
just everything about the main list is perfection
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i said AM porn, so here it is: AM porn
i can't believe you are now back in AM porn land
i hate this tag, i want you to know
i cringed the whole time typing a response
i just... will keith ever find out that he has a beet booty
shiro could tell him!!! or i guess make out with him immediately after...
perhaps shiro should take a picture of his booty hole and simply show him
gosh he could LOL
perhaps he can print it out and take it w him to canada
i can't believe this is their future. looking at filthy pictures and talking about the good old days
fjkghgw it'll keep them warm???
but my tundra research says otherwise??
fjkjhg ah yes. your pokemoning in the low 30s weather. i wonder if s + k can pokemon in the tundra
Important. Research.!!!!
IT REALLY IS. i value your commitment to the research of our many sheith verses
yes, i deserve to be appreciated
so modest
shhh you, too, are deserving of appreciation.
/insert cat hugging gif
BEAVER DAM IM YELLING
Keith has been Henry'd
....i will never look at that name the same way thanks
henry doesn't deserve this. he is such an innocent, fussy bean.
YOU DID THIS
ive been yelling at a constant pitch for 8 hrs. i cannot believe you brought approval kink into this
KEITH BROUGHT IT IN !! I AM ALSO YELLING.
i'll just be over here closing my eyes for eternity
can i join you?
... no. you're the one causing this eternity eye closing
YOU brought up the terminology!!
i continue to feel judged for providing such wonderful tags
we both know this judgment is highly warranted???
i admit to nothing
://///
c:
i am not fooled by this smile
:c
.... /pokes ur sad cheeks
... i hate that this tactic works in making the sad face less sad
dont be tsun
i do what i want!
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i'm kind of upset that i didn't get this up on easter because... well. y'know.
LOL i suppose you were merciful to zombie jesus
couldn't sin too much
uh huh uh huh
at this rate, we'll be doing this thread longer than titanic
ok that would make me laugh
we're already more than halfway there!
listen maybe tey'll go to bed now??
i think they will. shiro needs to recharge his prince
yes plug that prince in for recharging
the bunny 1 is in the way tho :c
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