[ the hand at his forearm makes keith's gaze shift away from his clothes. he doesn't feel much calmer, but he wills it with deeper, slow breaths and gives his tense shoulders a roll. the question is absurd because of course he wants shiro, but there's no denying that his cock has gone soft in the midst of this panic.
he keeps his eyes on shiro's hand for a long beat before finally looking up at his boyfriend, expression a blend of sheepish, shy and hopeful. ]
I always want you.
[ it's a complicated kind of want, and not one that keith is always sure he wants to examie. porn prison fuckery has somehow brought the two of them together, despite the breaks in space-time or by plucking them from alternate realities. whatever the case, there's a shiro back home with white hair and a missing arm who's more than millions of light-years away. even when they're together, it's like they don't know how to talk to each other anymore.
clones, death and being replaced have a way of doing that, keith supposes.
this shiro may not be his shiro - or maybe he is? either way, when keith looks at him, he feels less adrift, less alone in the world. like maybe their bond can survive the war in some way, despite the hurt and confusion rhwy're all enduring..
keith blinks, then clears his throat. thinking about all this is the last thing he ought to be doing when it only opens up chasms in his chest, huh? he looks away briefly to gather himself then offers up a shy smile as he leans in close, shifting the hand on his crotch away to instead perch on shiro's hip. ]
Guess I should have warned you. I just... don't know how to talk about it.. In a way that doesn't sound super weird and unsexy.
[ … ah, shit. it’s odd to find himself feeling guilty all of a sudden, but having keith look at him like that, all the while saying he always wants him is… humbling. devastating. he’s such a sweetheart, with the kind of steadfast affection that, sometimes, leaves shiro feeling winded. right now is one of those moments. his lungs quiver and his breath hitches, his own expression going sweet and besotted, so thoroughly seduced by something that shouldn’t read wholesome as they both sit here ass naked. but that’s what shiro is: seduced. not just in body but in heart and mind, as well. it has him bending under the weight of guilt and truth, all prior certainty that he’d carry the knowledge of anonymous’ identity to another time, perhaps even to his grave, dispersing and once again leaving him at the beginning, to wonder if he should come clean now.
keith does deserve to know, he supposes. when neither of them knew – no, he didn’t need to know. but now that shiro has stumbled into this knowledge, the imbalance is too great to ignore. it’s wrong otherwise, for shiro to proceed by pleasing this boy while keith thinks this is the very first time. if keith is going to be with him, he has to make that decision with the full picture.
… god, shiro hopes he still wants to be with him after this. just – he broke a door. and he’s pretty sure he took his virginity, only to throw a fit about it later. and he left him that one time to go give “other” him a thirty minute orgasm. oh, fuck, he also ghosted him.
his head is beginning to hurt. he’s grimacing, eyes shuttering as every moment together pieces together, overlapping the two separate lives. as disruptive as this known identity is, it also explains a lot of things. like keith walking with a slight limp after a fuck with anonymous. like keith’s voice being hoarse after anonymous mouth spent a good portion of their hook up deepthroating. like how – okay no, he’s getting sidetracked.
keith leans in and shiro instantly forces what he hopes is a convincing smile when keith offers a shy one his way. he’s not covering his crotch anymore; that’s a good sign. what isn’t is that keith has completely lost all those lovely ridges, his arousal completely drained out of him. shiro swallows back the urge to sigh miserably, the facade of that smile cracking a little more. ]
You can talk to me about anything. [ at least that’s genuine in pitch and meaning. he leans in further to peck keith’s forehead, though it’s mostly just hair he gets and then he leans back to look at him again. ] Just like I can talk to you about anything.
[ it’s difficult at times but shiro has gotten better about that. he’s talked of his time as a prisoner, his fears, his insecurities… and he supposes he’s about to talk about kinks. there’s an obvious beat of hesitation as he wrestles his cooperativeness into actually making his mouth form words. ]
In fact, I think there’s something I need to talk to you about right now.
[ the touch and kiss are both reassuring. those words, however, are not. ]
Oh.
[ the quiet syllable escapes before keith can think better of it. likewise, hhis eyes go a little wide and startled before keith is able to properly button down the trepidation. judging from shiro's tone and serious expression, whatever he has to say can't be any god, which begs the question of what exactly needs to be disclosed specifically before sex.
for better or for worse, one possible answer comes relatively quickly. if they need to talk about something serious prior to sex, then it's likely an std, right? again before keith can think better of it, his gaze shifts down to shiro's cock before blinking back up at his boyfriend's face.
what good exactly does staring at dick do when dealing with possible alien stds that may not manifest externally? flustering keith stammers: ]
[ okay. he probably could have eased into this with a more comforting flare. between keith’s dismal oh and the startled look upon his face, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that shiro’s making this exceedingly more difficult than it needs to be. remedy tactic number one: take keith’s hands in his. remedy tactic number two: smile encouragingly. ]
Yeah. Everything is fine.
[ everything is not fine. he’s freaking out. there’s a clatter in his chest and a sweatiness to his nape. he’s far too warm in the face, too, which is only aiding in that overheated, panicky feeling zipping through him. he draws a breath, trying to steady his composure. ]
It’s just… okay.
[ it’s so easy. one sentence, two sentences max and he could clear this up: i’m the anonymous penpal you used to meet up with at the house up by the pool, i’m sorry i just figured it out myself, hence the reaction to your dick, which is lovely by the way. instead, he mucks it up by trying to gently lay the groundwork of the revelation. ]
I’ve wanted you for a long time. I fought it for just as long because I’m a bit of a fool. But even then, I used to fantasize about you when I was with someone else. When we were together, I’d like to pretend that he was you. But it turns out I didn’t need to pretend.
[ he gives his hands twin squeezes, not at all comprehending that he isn’t making any sort of sense. ]
[ it's with some effort that shiro gets his demeanor to shift, though it doesn't wholly dispel the way keith has himself convinced he has to brace for some weird news. if everything's fine, then there wouldn't be a need to make a fuss about it in the first place, right?
so maybe it's not an std, but clearly it's something embarrassing if the way shiro's gone red-faced has anything to say about it. keith is out of guesses though, and soon finds himself pulled down an equally bizarre rabbit hole wherein shiro is seemingly confessing to thinking about him while banging other men -- toji and whoever else, and keith is once again unable to keep his degree of perplexion off his face. it hits in waves, really. shiro never talks about the other guys he's with, never mind the sorts of fantasies he has. keith's barely shifted through the ugly jealous possessiveness that flares to life when the last bombshell drops. ]
What?
[ blurted out and thoroughly ill-advised, keith pulls back somewhat to get a better look at shiro's face. there's enough bullshit that goes on in porn prison that the meaning doesn't even register immediately. ]
How was Toji me, exactly?
[ the question is entirely nonsensical, but keith doesn't know how else to parse this conundrum. ]
[ between the two of them, the one with the fixation on toji isn’t shiro. a one time fling, done entirely through a device, and still, half a year later, the name is brought up like shiro had a relationship with the dude. for all shiro knows, that guy finished out his sentence and went home, that’s how little he thinks of him. in fact, the only time shiro does think of him is in moments like this. least to say, he’s blindsided and thrown, expression slacking with confusion. ]
… What?
[ so a bit of echoing going on here. he doesn’t want to give into the exasperation just begging to take over and he tries, really tries not to become frustrated with having that blasted name thrown in his face, again, especially when shiro is trying to explain something of importance here. blame the fact that he’s already agitated and nervous for the way he lets go of keith’s hands, sighing at keith’s ability to not only misunderstand, but to jump to a completely unrelated topic. ]
[ confusion detonates when it's met with shiro's exasperated judgment. keith flusters all the more, scooting further back like physical distance will lend greater perspective. surprising nobody at all, it doesn't.
keith blurts, clearly chagrined and a pinch defensive. ]
How am I not supposed to get Toji from that?! You said you were fantasizing about me while you were with some other guy and that it tirmed out to be me, but we've -- you and I, we never --
[ the thought dies mid-sentence. going down the list of everyone keith has ever been intimate with, keith can safely say that he's never consciously beem with shiro in any capacity other than that deeply awkward time following his punishment with the sexbots.
putting aside that labelling that as "being together" in the first place is suspect, that can't possibly be what shiro's referencing here, right? so what does that leave? unconsciously being with shiro? there are certainly enough drugs going around prison that this could easily be facilitated with a fucked up concoction of hypnotic and anesthetic, but if shiro knew about that then this wouldn't be the time to bring that up, right?
hell. to think less than a minute ago, keith was here braced for some reveal about space stds. is this better or worse? still getting an eyeful of judgment, keith looks away -- rethinking this whole thing.
there aren't too many guys he's been with. in fact, it's down to just lance and anon. shiro is obviously not lance which leaves ... the absurd implication that anon is shiro. it's so ridiculous, in fact, that keith winds up looking at shiro again, brow wrinkled up with confusion and judgment.
this is shiro. his best friend. his best friend who can't possibly be into choking guys with his dick at the library or fucking them through holes in doors and especially isn't into sleeping with aliens. okay, admittedly keith has little to no insight into shiro's private sex life, but still. the guy that had wanted to take things slowly to make sure things felt right between them can't possibly be so impatient and horny that he'll literally bang a door off its hinges to sink a dick in an extra half inch, right?
rimming. metal arm. large cock. pale skin. strong physique. that time he thought he might've heard his name, but was way too out of it to be sure.
the counter evidence lines up shot after shot, as keith's staring takes a distinct dive south to take a hard look at shiro's cock. identifying anyone by their dick seems like some fucked up porny scooby doo bullshit, but that doesn't stop keith from squinting at the head and girth like he's doing some rudimentary volumetric analysis of how it might fit in his mouth.
he looks up again, and this time his face isn't flushed with embarrassment. rather, his voice has gotten thick with incredulity. ]
[ if shiro weren’t currently having heart palpations and stress-induced cotton-mouth, he’d find this fascinating. this being the progression of keith’s deduction skills. shiro can practically hear the wheels turning in his head. he certainly can see each shift in his thinking, with the way keith looks this way and that, an assortment of emotions playing across his features from confusion to denial to suspicion to apprehension. when that scrutiny lands on his cock, shiro fights the impulse to steal a move from keith’s playbook and cover his crotch. he squirms, once, simply because it eases his nervousness for a grand total of one tick and then resettles, letting keith gawk and critique for however long he needs to.
turns out, it isn’t much longer after that.
keith looks up, locks eyes and… – god, it was a mistake to let go of his hands, because now shiro’s are empty. meaning, he doesn’t know what to do with them as his own apprehension spikes. fiddling his thumb and fingers together in each hand, his pinches and rolls the pads together, soon shifting to hooking his thumbnails on that of his middle fingers to make this soft, repetitive clicking sounds.
this is it. this is his last opening to laugh, smile, and say something half-convincing to divert them from the truth of their history. he’s surprisingly cowardly when it comes to keith, at least in terms of maintaining the strength of their bond, so he almost takes it. he almost takes the out.
but he presses his lips together on a grimace and composes himself after a glance down at the sheets. the fiddling with his nails has stopped and once again at a loss of what to occupy his hands with, he ends up self-soothing with a palm to his nape, rubbing back and forth as he looks to keith once more. slowly, he nods. just once. and then: ]
I'm anonymous. [ a beat. ] You know, with the smileys.
[ shiro fidgets and each nervous twitch rachets up the roiling snese of unease. even more damning than that? shiro isn't immediately refuting or asking for clarification. the guy knows exactly what's on keith's mind and the reason he would know one of keith's most closely guarded secrets here can only come down to them sharing it.
confirmation of what keith suspects doesn't take much longer to manifest. the nod somehow has all the gravitas of receiving a death sentence and keith flails all the way back until his head hits the headboard. the sound of skull bumping hard against wood isn't a pleasant sound, but keith doesn't even seem to notice. ]
It was you?!
[ processing that in any meaningful way is impossible. thoughts crumble and morph like he's being spun thorugh a kaleidoscope and nothing he says follows any coherence either chronologically or by actual significance. arguably the only good to come of this is the fact that he misses the implication of shiro's emphasis on qualifying who anonymous even is ]
You snuck out of the cube to hook up with me?You're the one who was jerking off in the library?? [ his voice pitches ever higher as his incredulity grows to a fever pitch. ] You - you're the one who ghosted me? And put on a chainsmoker voice??
[ breathe, breathe, breathe. keith stares mouth agape, still clearly waiting for a punchline. ]
I thought you were gonna tell me you caught space crabs or something, Shiro.
[ shiro does his very best not to flinch. his own reaction hadn’t been much better – oh fuck had been worse – so he can’t exactly fault keith for the exclamation. the head bonk, though? his teeth are gritted and his eyebrows are knitted, his expression radiating a certain level of pain. he should probably check that, even though keith is barreling on unfazed. unfazed by smacking himself, that is. he’s spiraling out of control on the revelation and shiro tries to keep up with him, but there are so many questions, each one as damning as the last.
he means to defend himself. really, he does. but he’s being, of all things, polite. sympathetic, too. he doesn’t cut keith off, because frankly, he’s part convinced that keith will explode if he doesn’t get the words out, what with the way his voice is pitching higher than he’s ever heard it before. so he keeps to patience and self-soothes his own skyrocketing anxiety by ticking off the answers in his head.
yes, he snuck out because he was incredibly horny for keith but didn’t think he could have keith yet. yes, he jerked off in the library but only due to that damn librarian spraying him with aphro. yes, he ghosted him… to be faithful to him. yes, he used a – wait, chainsmoker voice?
it derails him for a moment and it’s why he doesn’t take the opening as keith stares agape. regret kicks in instantly. ]
Space crabs – no! [ him? infected? what kind of sex life does keith think he leads!? nevermid that, even. what kind of person does he think he is? ] I wouldn’t… – if I had something, which I don’t, I wouldn’t wait until we’re in bed naked to tell you.
[ talk about an instant mood killer – and a bit of a dick move to drop that bombshell right into his unclothed lap.
… though. is the end result much different from where they are now? hands both empty again, he gestures nonsensically with them, mostly to keep himself from reaching for keith. ]
I didn’t know you were anonymous. Not until… [ don’t look. don’t look. don’t – okay, he looked, brows raising. not that it’s, you know, it’s very unique and identifying shape right now. ]
[ listen, keith would never have argued that shiro is the kind of guy that would do that, sinply that his imagination hadn't come up with alternative explanations for what shiro's mysterious lead in to this conversation could have been. where he'd been pale moments before, embarrassment is quick to catch up and flood his face a burning scarlet.
of course he's not going to contest anything about space crabs. in fact, with the incredulity starting to drain out of his soul, keith simply follows shiro's gaze down to .... ah yes, his flaccid dick. keith groans, knees coming up in some attempt to shield that from view while he buries his face in his hands.
this whole time. this whole fuckng time, the mystery person with the incredible dick on the other side had been shiro. it doesn't matter that there's corroborating evidence to make that fact irrefutable, keith's entire being refuses to accept it. instead, little flashes of their encounters play in his mind, every wet noise he'd made, every time he lapped and sucked at that dick like it was spilling ambrosia into his mouth, the way he clung to the chair while anon fucked orgasms out of his ass and -- ]
Mmmrgh....
[ the nooise is distilled mortification. keith had never wanted shiro to see him that way. naked, shy and trying things together was never meant to ruined by the mutual knowledge of being bent over, hole presented through punched out doors. or tainted with images of slick pouring from his ass or him blabbering stupidly during an endless orgasm.
nobody was supposed to see any of these facets of things keith has only started to accept about himself. he sags low against the headboard, shoulders rounding until he's almost in the fetal position. ]
... I think I need a weblum to come swallow me whole right about now.
[ this is going well. perhaps the better option would’ve been to take this to his grave afterall. no; he backtracks over that doubt immediately. it’s better in the long run that shiro’s upfront. they’ll get through this, shiro only needs to keep to his patience and wait it out. it’s encouraging, at least, that keith has yet to show any form of disgust or anger. shock, yes. incredulity, yes. inability to process the seemingly impossible, yes. but keith’s quickly losing sight of shiro altogether to instead turn in on himself.
he’s embarrassed. it’s an obvious thought, one that doesn’t need specific recognition, but shiro finds himself pausing on it, watching, vaguely fascinated, as keith hides in his hands. he begins to sink and sink against the headboard and it’s – huh, not funny, but considering shiro was bracing for more accusations and even keith storming out of here, the relief he feels is easily mistaken as something far lighter. thankfully, it isn’t so potent that he makes the mistake of settling into his relief with a bit of laughter. his voice does, however, take on a softer tone, alit with burgeoning confidence. ]
Hey… none of that. This isn’t the end of the world.
[ the mattress dips as shiro rearranges himself on it, putting himself against the headboard. he gathers keith and manually moves him himself to get him sitting up, where shiro is quick to loop his arm around him to hug him into his side. ]
This could even be a… uh, good thing…? [ that sure is convincing, isn’t it? he puffs out a breath, still not quite laughing, and presses a kiss to keith’s head to make up for it. ] We found our way to each other and not just that, we were good together. [ remember that talk about their insane chemistry? remember how not too long ago they’d both been nervous despite all the reassurances that they’d be compatible? he smiles, forcing a little more in hopes of coaxing keith into abandoning his hiding. ] So good. Best sex I’ve ever had.
[ … okay, maybe that’s being a touch too truthful. don’t judge him for it. ]
[ with the window of opportunity for feigned nonchalance not just shut but deadbolted and vacuum sealed, keith does little more than dig his fingers tighter to his face as shiro maneuvers him up and leaning against his side. all truth be told, he was growing rather comfortable sinking down under his shame but as putting up real resistance would only make the issue seem even more of a big deal than it is, keith simply holds his breath until he's re-settled.
there's an arm around him then, followed by a kiss pressed to his head. it's ... fuck. levity ahas returned to shiro's voice and for a moment, keith is thrown. he peeks above his fingertips, what's still visible of his forehead still a fierce cherry red. ]
You think so...?
[ it's not the angle that keith had been approaching this from at all. anon had obviously accepted him -- tacitly sure, until anon disappeared because well.. shiro pulled that stunt. in retrospect, that whole incident had been... kinda ridiculous, huh? two guys scrambling to end a pseudo relationship because of each other. keith groans, butting the side of his head against shiro's chest. ]
Was it really the best?
[ all things considered, perhaps not what keith ought to be focusing on, but somehow reframing this whole thing from shiro's perspective is easier than looking at it from his own. ]
[ shiro’s the one with experience here, but although he’s had a good amount of lays, he doesn’t have a lot of names to his list of sexual partners. adam contributes the most. it’d been good at the time. fulfilling. enough. young as he’d been, sex of any quality was sufficient enough to keep a bounce in his step and a deeply sated feeling extending. now, he has further experience to measure it up against. granted, looking back on a failed engagement likely colors his opinion on the sex, but overall, it hadn’t been like that. hot and frenzied, messy and greedy, all encompassing as good sense fled and only desire remained; sex with anonymous had been a little bit of an adventure from start to finish, some of it so potent in his memory that it’d provide good fodder for a wank the following day.
heh, to think he’s gone a month without that now.
it’s no grand feat, really, because he has something else to fill the gap. he has a very cute, sometimes surprisingly shy boy, who curls up with him at night and offers him kisses when shiro is particularly sweet. it’s the polar opposite of the animalistic brutality of broken doors and roughly handled bodies, but somehow, it’s just as satisfying to keep him grounded and focused, not even a hint of regret making its way into his brain. ]
Yeah. [ he noses, briefly, at keith’s hair. ] It won’t be after tonight… or, I mean, whenever we…
[ they are very much naked in this very large bed of theirs, but even so, it suddenly feels presumptuous to assume that the evening is going to pan out the way they’d originally thought it would. truthfully? there’s disappointment to be found in the notion that they may delay another day, but overall, shiro isn’t too bothered by it. so the smile doesn’t flee and his good mood doesn’t dessert him; he clings tight to both, arm looping closer to encourage keith’s lean.
he lifts his head, only because the angle is deep enough that his neck protests. knocking it gently back to the headboard, shiro stares across the room, again stripping away layers to try for more honesty. ]
I enjoyed it. The freedom of not being seen. [ he’ll wager that much was the same for keith. so maybe he’s preaching to the choir here. nonetheless – ] I didn’t have to be me. I didn’t have to think like me, didn’t have to act like me, didn’t have to be what anyone expected me to be… I could block out everything and just… [ a breath. ] – feel good in the moment.
[ his fingers curl at keith’s hip, tracing abstract shapes into his skin. ]
… But now I wanna feel good with you. [ and considering keith’s been in his head for months now, superimposed onto someone who wasn’t supposed to be him, shiro can only assume being with the real keith is going to be so, so much better. ]
[ with the warmth of shiro's skin pressed close, the temptation to continue hiding behind his hands gradually ceases to be a real temptation at all. it only takes a few moments of listening to his boyfriend talking for keith's face to be lulled up, magnetized. it takes even less time for a smile to bloom. it starts out small and a little shy, before a kindling spark turns into a warm ember.
they've been best friends for years, and for all their similarities and shared interests... it's still kind of fascinating to think maybe they do feel similarly about sex. of course, that isn't something keith anticipated. after all, shiro's had other partners and a sex life that predated the one imposed on them by the warden.
sex isn't inherently unnatural or some grotesque scrambling of his autonomy. of course keith knows that, but in practice it's been harder to come to terms with actually being okay with wanting it for himself because experience hasn't always been equated with choice. there's a word for that -- trauma, perhaps, but a rough life has made it difficult to even unpack that for what it is. after all, he's been in more battles than he cares to count, and seen more people die than he wants to remember. this is nothing in comparison, right?
or so he thought. in the end, it's exactly as shiro said. it had been freeing to be someone other than himself while allowing anon to explore his body. it had been more enjoyable precisely because keith didn't have to think or feel anything than what he was made to feel by anon's fingers and tongue and cock.
shiro's.
keith tries out the correction, eyes still on his boyfriend's face, then has to look away when the flutter in his chest refuses to subside. he hiccups a tiny laugh, twisting enough to bump his cheek to shiro's chest. and then... what that isn't close enough? keith frees himself from shiro's arm to carefully straddle his thighs. ]
It could still be tonight. If you want. [ if you want. keith shakes his head, unsatisfied. ] Because that's what I want.
[ still smiling, keith traces a long line from collarbone down to shiro's flesh hand, taking it and intertwining their fingers. ]
Sounds stupid but... I really didn't want to want., I guess. [ he huffs, expression turning slightly self deprecating. ] Heh. You know. If you hadn't ghosted me, I was planning on saying thank you. For helping me figure things out ... and for showing me it was gonna be okay. ....Aaand then I was going to break it off with you because I realized that even though things were okay, I didn't want to be just okay. I wanted you. [ a beat. ] No, I want you. I want to kiss you. I wanna be able to say your name while we touch.
[ pause. is that too subtle? ]
I want to look at you and hold you while you fuck me.
Edited (SHHH this bothered me immensely) 2022-12-03 20:22 (UTC)
[ ah, yes. the ghosting. can’t let him forget that. the urge to laugh comes and goes, so quickly that he gets nowhere near actually laughing. he’s smiling, though. easy to, when keith’s straddling his thighs, weight comfortable and promising there in his lap. that alone is confirmation that it really can still be tonight; that’s not what has shiro feeling the bulk of his relief, though. it’s the ghosting, actually. the fact that keith is talking about it so easily now. shiro’s grateful for that because given enough time, he’d likely drag himself down with regret for ending things so cowardly. he already has felt bad about it, but that was before he knew it was keith. terrible, huh? that he feels worse for the same action when it is applied to keith, rather than a nameless individual. that says something about him, that his conscience isn’t an unbias, consistent voice. he feels more when it comes to keith, the good, the bad, the everything in between.
he can’t say he’s surprised by the revelation. he harbors favoritism for keith; he has for a long time, even when he was vehement of his denial for it.
throughout keith’s talking, shiro keeps his smile, watching patiently and fondly, as keith works through his own wants. he squeezes encouragingly at his hand, his free one rubbing at keith’s thigh. it travels up in the pause, thumb tracing along the angle of keith’s pelvic bone as his fingers curl around and his palm flattens to his hip. while you fuck me. his gaze is steady, but growing heavier, because while he doesn’t make any obvious outward reaction to it, his abdomen tightens on a flutter and a shiver runs down his spine, accumulating and spreading through his lower body to make him twitch. ]
I want that, too.
[ he breathes out the words, voice already weighty with renewed desire. leaning in, he tips the angle to press a kiss to keith’s jaw, nosing further along the hard line of it. fuck, being able to see keith’s face when they’re connected… – he wanted that before. he tried to create a poor man’s mimic of such intimacy by riding anonymous and himself of the door. it simply wasn’t enough. the eyes, the mouth, the sweaty tangles of hair – the best parts were covered up. so that’s all it takes, one little mention, and shiro is quickly losing his patience and composure. he’s thinking of keith arching off the sheets, hair haloed around him as he tries to focus his eyes. fuck. or keith riding him just like this, with his head tipped back and neck arched. shiro would have to take a fistful of his hair and yank him down, huh? he’d have to keep those eyes on him, to never waver throughout every drop down of keith’s body.
he groans, metal fingers tightening at his hip. ] Bet you’re a sight when you’re full of me. [ his body has certainly been greedy for his cock; does that insatiable desire make its way to keith’s face? does he go all dark eyed and flushed, soft, full lips finally able to to part around noises that won’t be muffled? ] Can’t believe I’ve had you all those times and I never got to see, got to hear…
[ he huffs a breath just barely resembling a laugh and then explores his galra hand up keith’s torso, sliding in to skim his fingertips along the shape of his pec and over his nipple. ]
I said your name once. [ cooed. casual. ] Do you remember? [ he pulls back to get a full look at keith, grinning. ] You felt so good around me that I lost my mind. [ a beat, fingers giving a playful pinch at his nip. ] Think you can do it again? Maybe make me yell it this time… not in that chainsmoker voice you love so much?
[ shiro leans forward and ... oh. mouth slightly open, keith never manages to get a proper word out the heat of shiro's lips is hot on his jaw, sending a cascade of tingles shooting down his spine. his head tips back of its own accord, eyes half lidded as shiro mouths at his neck and hands circle at his hips and up to his chest.
barely a minute in, and everything is different. constraints enforced by glory holes and anonymity had eliminated most avenues of foreplay. even towards the end of those hook ups, there'd still been a sheet to keep most of him covered, and touch had almost always been more more direct right from the get go. hands on his cock, fingers scissoring his rim, a tongue pushed inside his hole -- all with the assumption of enforced silence.
shiro's voice in this context is damn near intoxicating. kisses, butterfly touches and pinches. keith moans as fingers squeeze a half dime pert, cock filling out again fast with a twitch. fuck -- those stupid mandatory "good mate" classes have more or less drilled into his head what's considered an erogenous zone, but knowing the nipple is one of those things is still not wholly the same as discovering in real time that he's sensitive here too. he flushes, slowly lettin expelling a long puff of breath as he gathers his wits. ]
I remember.... [ voice breathy, keith drags his hnads up shiro's arms, feeling the strength in his boyfriend's biceps and shoulders with appreciative squeezes. he shivers, before scooting a little closer hips just shy of being flush to shiro's but close enough that the tip of his cock brushess just beneath shiro's cockhead. ] Kind of.. I wasn't really really thinking straight at all.
[ he laughs, looking sheepish for a moment. ]
Being full of you kinda has that effect.
[ of course, being in the throes of a frighteningly long orgasm hadn't exactly helped his coherence either. keith glances down at their almost touching cocks, then looks back up at shiro to steal an open mouthed kiss and pulls away with a gentle bite at his lower lip. that bit of cheek is all the warning shiro gets before keith reaches down to grab him by the balls. ]
You'd yell if I squeezed now, yeah?
[ he wouldn't, of course. a point made self evident a half beat later when he lets go in favor of indulgently tracing a thick vein up to the frenulum simply because he can.. being the one covered up has kept keith strictly on the receiving end of anon's whims, and it's exhilarating to look and see how shiro reacts to him for a change. ]
Heh. it's our first real time together and you're already turning it into a challenge. Unbelievable.
[ except it's not. it's so ridiculous shiro that even though keith is teasing, his heart is overstuffed with fondness. ]
[ careful with the family jewels, keith! shiro does not squeak, okay, but there’s this faint, yet embarrassing sound that chokes up his throat, eyes going comically wide because no, he did not expect that sort of retaliation. of course, keith is entirely gentle, but the implications of it make shiro’s heart pound hard once and then he’s laughing, fingers once more giving a pinch with more pressure. shiro was right; sex with anonymous was the best, but that title has already run its course. minutes in with only the barest beginnings and this is already becoming something untouchable in his memory bank. this is fun. the easy way keith banters back and holds his own, the two of them ever closer to touching, really touching, but reluctant to be the first one to need it, like this is some sort of game… – it’s a wonder shiro ever doubted their compatibility before.
so it’s tempting to continue on this trajectory. he can already see it; the two of them setting into a throwdown challenge of who can make the other louder, both teasing until one of them breaks to wrap a hand around the two of them, rocking their cocks together. he’s wanted this, too. it never would have worked unless shiro took up the sheet and covered himself up instead, but he’d liked the idea of anonymous riding him enough to begin considering it. he ghosted him before he ever reached a comfort level necessary for him to bear such vulnerability, but it’s alright. it’s okay. he has keith now and keith already looks gorgeous straddling his thighs. if shiro just inches down a little more, giving keith more room to move, he could line up shiro’s cock and sink down on it.
and maybe that would be the appropriate way to do this, because underneath keith’s cheekiness, shiro’s certain the boy is still nervous about wanting to be filled. that would give keith more of the power, more of the control; he’d be leading. but shiro’s also a greedy, wanting man, who enjoys pushing keith. ]
You’re right. This is our first real time and it’s special.
[ he gives that half-dime a parting brush, delighting in how perky that nub is, and then moves both hands around to press flat against keith’s back, fingers spread wide to encompass more space. ] So know what I’m gonna do? [ palms down, along his shoulder blades, they’re good leverage points for him to grasp keith and pull, coaxing the boy to lift up on his knees to come closer. ]
I’m gonna focus on making you yell and you sob. [ is that too much like anonymous? maybe. but aside from shiro wanting to shower keith with affection, he wants keith to see him, too. to see how much he enjoys touching his body. which he does now; with keith higher, the access to that chest is open, giving shiro the easiest lean forward to flick the tip of his tongue over that hard nub. he mouths in next, kissing it and grazing teeth. ]
Been wanting to worship this body for months… so can you do that for me? Can you let yourself enjoy it?
[ funny. keith would have never described a mangled noise as the sound of victory before, but hearing it now and the sudden wide-eyed look on his unsuspecting boyfriend's face is precisely that. keith grins harder, preening in his delight until pinchy fingers force a silencing gasp and a twitch down low out of him.
but shiro isn't done with retaliating, is he? keith's touch is light enough that when shiro hoists him up onto his knees, his hands sim drags up over cockhead to lay flat on shiro's abs. as if the point hadn't been made clear already, having full access to play with each other is an entirely different beast. warm lips find his chest, and the flick of tongue on peaked nipple gets keith to whine as he wraps both arms around shiro's back.
but it's shiro's voice more than anything else that makes keith flush warm from cheeks down to his chest. fuck. the time when he'd been more galra than human is the first real indication he'd ever gotten than anonymous's words were just as filthy as his tongue, but that'd been once and keith's never built up any immunity to dirty talk. again, those fucking good mate classes only go so far and they'd largely only made keith feel extremely uncomfortable reading off lewd suggestions from cue cards.
but even that's beside the point, isn't it? he looks down at shiro, eyes wide with surprise. thing is? keith's never been great at receiving care from others, much less being spoiled with it to the point of worship. then again, considering shiro knows this, perhaps the real ask is for keith to willingly make himself vulnerable and open. no hiding, no muffling, no denying.
looking a pinch doe eyed, keith's heart does a horrible flutterskip that makes breathing difficult for two beats before he's finally able to speak. ]
...it's you, Shiro. You know I'd do anything for you.
[ a beat. ]
But you're sure about that? You don't want me to suck you off or anything?
[ oh, he’s going to enjoy this. obviously, of course, but the thought is punctuated by the ease in which keith trusts him to move, arms winding, hands clinging, and back curved just so to give shiro the best angles to play across that chest. keith says things like being uncertain about wanting to be on the receiving ends of pleasure, the vulnerability of giving up control, to instead be led through all the pleasure points of his own body an overwhelming, somewhat frightening prospect. even so, shiro is delighted that keith’s body knows what to do. despite whatever goes on in that adorable head of his, his body certainly wants shiro all over it; that readiness nothing but encouraging.
granted, keith is still very much that sweet, hesitant boy from their walk back from the carnival. naturally, a counter-offer was always in the cards. and boy, shiro cannot confidently say that he isn’t tempted. ]
I do love your mouth…
[ his own is still mouthing at keith’s chest, lips moving across the slight dip between keith’s pecs, moving, still moving all the way over to keith’s other nipple. it receives similar treatment in a flick and a kiss, though the wet suck is an added slow indulgence. notwithstanding, of course. one suckle, two, and the third draws longer before he releases to coo over the pert thing. ]
But I’m patient. [ he tips his head, looking, briefly, up at keith, before lifting his head to sit up just a little more. so – ] Later. Right now, all you need to do is keep your eyes open and watch me please you.
[ and lay down, apparently. shiro helps him through that. pulls him down, tips their weight and rolls them over, careful in the way he helps rearrange keith so he ends up beneath shiro, adequately cradled by the pillow. holding himself with his hands and knees, so none of his weight remains on keith, shiro grins down at the other. ]
Sounds easy, but I’m quite good with my mouth, too.
[ ... fuck. is it really so easy for shiro to rile him up and get him wanting? that first suck at his nip seems to go straight to his dick, cock head beading pre in anticipation of a good suckle later. the second and third makes keith squirm as thick ridges take shape along his shaft. all the while, keith doesn't look away from shiro, despite burning hot under his touch.
okay, so maybe a month's worth of sexual abstinence from anon and some quick, barely satisfying masturbation sessions to get sex out of his system hasn't exactly helped with his excitability here, but that can't wholly be it, right?
shiro scoops him up to reposition him onto his back and keith still keeps his eyes trained on his boyfriend's face. it's almost easier that way, not visually acknowledging his own arousal, though he can feel it potently. from the stiff peaks of his half dimes, down to the subtle throb of his cock as it reaches up as if to try and touch shiro hovering above him. he swallows, feeling the slow bob of his adam's apple as keith takes a deep breath.
fuck. he's imagined having shiro on top of him before. smiling while forging their connection stronger, deepr, filthier, but always with guilt attached to the fantasy. anon and shiro were always meant to be distinct entities, though the line had been blurred so often in the throes of passion that their convergence now still feels unreal. keith reaches up in defiance of shiro's orders to push back his forelock with a look of soft disbelief on his face before letting his arm flop back down on the bed. a nervous fidget later, and keith shuffles his legs apart on the bed, neatly boxing shiro between the border of his thighs. ]
Heh. You say it like I don't already know that. [ like he hasn't cum down shiro's throat and in his mouth without knowing. somewhat amused, keith huffs. ] Unless you're saying you've been holding back?
[ it's teasing. part of their usual competitive banter, really. but truthfully, inexperience menas keith very sincerely can't imagine all the ways in which that might actually be the case. ]
[ so. shiro’s new favorite thing is being trapped between these legs. trapped might not be the right word, considering it’s more a framing, rather than a holding, but the point is the same: naked, spread, keith legs are lovely things to be boxed in by. he grins to keith’s retort, stomach flip flopping at how readily keith teases back. true, he does know, doesn’t he? he’s tested the tightness of his throat and he’s felt his tongue pushing into one of the most intimate, vulnerable places of his body; keith knows this mouth very well indeed. it’s tempting, as it always is, to rise to any challenge thrown his way and it’s there, in the uptilt of keith’s tone, teasing the possibility that shiro has more up his sleeve. the obvious choice is to play up his own skills and promise more, mind-numbing pleasure, which is not entirely untrue. the doors and the sheets in themselves held him back.
but instead, he yields, slightly, to the idea that he’s already offered up his best. ]
I pulled out all the stops for you. [ the grin turns boyish in its lopsided curvature. shuffling down keith’s body, he briefly ducks down to kiss his sternum. ] I love pleasing this body.
[ he’s wandering down said body, brushing kisses over abs and belly button, breathing words in the midst. ]
And now you get to see just how much I do. [ love pleasing him. he lifts his head, and settles down in the framing of keith’s thighs, more comfortably seated with his legs tucked underneath himself. ] This gorgeous face here? [ he drags his palm over keith’s hip and down the crease of pelvis meeting thigh, fingers curling around a once again, nicely filled out dick. ] You’re gonna watch how wide you push my lips apart. How wet you make them.
[ the ridges are standing out and shiro, now fully prepared for them, has nothing but desire for them as he squeezes, feeling each line against his palm. ]
Bet you’ll make my eyes water, too. [ he blinks slow, accentuating the slight flutter to his lashes, clearly playing it up. ] When these ridges start working down my throat.
[ .... fuck. it's been, what, less than five minutes, and all the thoughts in keith's head keep spiraling and sputtering? shiro peppers kisses down the line of his sternum and lower, getting ever closer to his cock and the anticipation from that alone makes his dick twitch yet again. it'd be embarrassing if keith remembered how to be embarrassed, but there's an endless barrage of filthy suggestion in the aether and keith is left mentally tripping over wants and implication.
see, as much as he'd grown to like sucking anon's cock hard until it spat cum on his tongue and down his throat, it'd been yet another weird, guilty pleasure that he wasn't sure how to accept about himself. perhaps part of that had been the inherent absurdity of only ever being face to face with a waiting dick poked through a library shelf or a hole in the door that left his insides roiling in shame for getting off to having his mouth stretched wide and throat stuffed full, but there'd been more to that too. the guy on the other side of the door had grunted and groaned, and in the back of keith's mind, he'd put familiarity to those horny, wet sounds.
familiarity that, now, keith no longer has to fantasize or imagine. slowly, he props himself up onto his elbows, breathing hard to follow shiro's face as he settles on his knees between the split of his legs. it's ... fuck. it's so much, just looking at shiro there, grinning and teasing and possibly getting off to the same thing keith had been self-critical over. ]
Shiro... [ fuck. shiro hasn't even touched him yet and already there's a whine to his voice. feeling heat spread across his cheeks, keith swallows, trying for a pinch of composure. ] .. Fuck, you're gonna make me cum really quick if you keep talking like that.
[ a beat later, and keith has to laugh. ]
Fuck I don't even know what I'm saying right now. Just ... [ carefully, he sits up a little further, hand outstretched to sweep white forelock back and away from shiro's face. ]
You're the one who made me like this, you know? Taking it in my mouth until I choke. I didn't know you felt the same way.
[ on some level, it's kind of funny. anon had always taken such care to be quiet, and shiro is anything but. again, less than five minutes in and keith is stupidly aroused by the difference. like it isn't just him being more vulnerable, more present and himself in his visibility, but shiro too.
perhaps it's even funnier then, that a long time ago when keith had tried to imagine what first-time sex with shiro would have been like, he'd pictured something gentle and sweet. this still is, of course, but it's intercut with filth and something more real that it makes keith shiver as he drags fingers down to hook his index at shiro's lower lip. ]
[ it’s a good indicator that shiro loves sucking cock that when keith’s index hooks, shiro’s mouth goes pliant and open, head shifting to capture that finger in-between a pillowing of his lips. he sucks once, just for the fun of it, and then rolls his tongue over it, from the first to second bend in his finger. keith had been saying something though. explaining himself? not wanting to do keith the disservice of brushing over this, not when keith has been a touch cagey and enduringly nervous, shiro releases his finger after another, languid suck, smacking his lips with a small sound. ]
Felt what way? Enjoy sucking cock?
[ he made keith like that? there’s some valuable nugget of information there. was he the first dick keith’s ever taken into his mouth? is it his dick that keith’s lavished the most attention to? both thoughts are pleasing; combined, they have him shivering and hazy-minded, a quick spell of pleasure sufficiently distracting him in the moment. only for a beat. then he’s sobering, answering the question for himself. ]
It’s definitely not for everyone and I’d never expect it from you if you didn’t –
[ but he does. so he abandons the words and doesn’t bother ending it. see, while keith and anonymous are the same person, they are distinctly different entities in his head. being with anonymous was about taking and being unapologetic with his own pleasure. of course, toward the end, he hadn’t been a selfish lover with anonymous, either, but he’d started off as one; that theme coloring the rest of their interactions to the point that shiro did expect certain things from anonymous, even during the moments that he was the one with his mouth pressed to the door.
keith is different. keith is always different. it wouldn’t necessarily be his first choice, because he very much wants to get his cock inside this boy, but he’s also quite confident in the idea that he’d be perfectly satisfied rutting into the mattress as he adores keith’s body, pleasing him until the boy is sobbing and spent, a useless, adorable mess in the sheets. ]
But yeah, I like it. [ he quirks a smile, looking boyish and sweet, there between keith’s legs. ] I want you to feel good. I want to feel you feeling good.
[ … but then there’s a shift. that sweetness that’s oddly almost wholesome slips away, features subtly changing until an expression takes that is heat and confidence and a touch of competitiveness, too. keith’s sitting up and reaching. that’s the issue he’s zeroed in on here; something that he feels compelled to correct. so he lifts up, moving his hands to crawl back up keith’s body and to force himself into keith’s space. ]
Make no mistake, I’m the one with your dick in my mouth, but I’m the one control. [ a balances on one hand and gets the other to keith’s shoulder, gente, yet insistent in how he pushes him back down into the pillow. ] I’m the one leading you through your pleasure. I’ll take care of you, even when you’re pleasure-drunk and out of your mind. [ a soft, kind laugh. hovering over him, he ducks down to peck keith’s lips, his nose, and finally his forehead. ] Remember… let yourself enjoy it. I’ve got you, baby.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he keeps his eyes on shiro's hand for a long beat before finally looking up at his boyfriend, expression a blend of sheepish, shy and hopeful. ]
I always want you.
[ it's a complicated kind of want, and not one that keith is always sure he wants to examie. porn prison fuckery has somehow brought the two of them together, despite the breaks in space-time or by plucking them from alternate realities. whatever the case, there's a shiro back home with white hair and a missing arm who's more than millions of light-years away. even when they're together, it's like they don't know how to talk to each other anymore.
clones, death and being replaced have a way of doing that, keith supposes.
this shiro may not be his shiro - or maybe he is? either way, when keith looks at him, he feels less adrift, less alone in the world. like maybe their bond can survive the war in some way, despite the hurt and confusion rhwy're all enduring..
keith blinks, then clears his throat. thinking about all this is the last thing he ought to be doing when it only opens up chasms in his chest, huh? he looks away briefly to gather himself then offers up a shy smile as he leans in close, shifting the hand on his crotch away to instead perch on shiro's hip. ]
Guess I should have warned you. I just... don't know how to talk about it.. In a way that doesn't sound super weird and unsexy.
no subject
keith does deserve to know, he supposes. when neither of them knew – no, he didn’t need to know. but now that shiro has stumbled into this knowledge, the imbalance is too great to ignore. it’s wrong otherwise, for shiro to proceed by pleasing this boy while keith thinks this is the very first time. if keith is going to be with him, he has to make that decision with the full picture.
… god, shiro hopes he still wants to be with him after this. just – he broke a door. and he’s pretty sure he took his virginity, only to throw a fit about it later. and he left him that one time to go give “other” him a thirty minute orgasm. oh, fuck, he also ghosted him.
his head is beginning to hurt. he’s grimacing, eyes shuttering as every moment together pieces together, overlapping the two separate lives. as disruptive as this known identity is, it also explains a lot of things. like keith walking with a slight limp after a fuck with anonymous. like keith’s voice being hoarse after anonymous mouth spent a good portion of their hook up deepthroating. like how – okay no, he’s getting sidetracked.
keith leans in and shiro instantly forces what he hopes is a convincing smile when keith offers a shy one his way. he’s not covering his crotch anymore; that’s a good sign. what isn’t is that keith has completely lost all those lovely ridges, his arousal completely drained out of him. shiro swallows back the urge to sigh miserably, the facade of that smile cracking a little more. ]
You can talk to me about anything. [ at least that’s genuine in pitch and meaning. he leans in further to peck keith’s forehead, though it’s mostly just hair he gets and then he leans back to look at him again. ] Just like I can talk to you about anything.
[ it’s difficult at times but shiro has gotten better about that. he’s talked of his time as a prisoner, his fears, his insecurities… and he supposes he’s about to talk about kinks. there’s an obvious beat of hesitation as he wrestles his cooperativeness into actually making his mouth form words. ]
In fact, I think there’s something I need to talk to you about right now.
no subject
Oh.
[ the quiet syllable escapes before keith can think better of it. likewise, hhis eyes go a little wide and startled before keith is able to properly button down the trepidation. judging from shiro's tone and serious expression, whatever he has to say can't be any god, which begs the question of what exactly needs to be disclosed specifically before sex.
for better or for worse, one possible answer comes relatively quickly. if they need to talk about something serious prior to sex, then it's likely an std, right? again before keith can think better of it, his gaze shifts down to shiro's cock before blinking back up at his boyfriend's face.
what good exactly does staring at dick do when dealing with possible alien stds that may not manifest externally? flustering keith stammers: ]
Um, yeah. Okay. Is uh... is everything okay?
no subject
Yeah. Everything is fine.
[ everything is not fine. he’s freaking out. there’s a clatter in his chest and a sweatiness to his nape. he’s far too warm in the face, too, which is only aiding in that overheated, panicky feeling zipping through him. he draws a breath, trying to steady his composure. ]
It’s just… okay.
[ it’s so easy. one sentence, two sentences max and he could clear this up: i’m the anonymous penpal you used to meet up with at the house up by the pool, i’m sorry i just figured it out myself, hence the reaction to your dick, which is lovely by the way. instead, he mucks it up by trying to gently lay the groundwork of the revelation. ]
I’ve wanted you for a long time. I fought it for just as long because I’m a bit of a fool. But even then, I used to fantasize about you when I was with someone else. When we were together, I’d like to pretend that he was you. But it turns out I didn’t need to pretend.
[ he gives his hands twin squeezes, not at all comprehending that he isn’t making any sort of sense. ]
He was you.
no subject
so maybe it's not an std, but clearly it's something embarrassing if the way shiro's gone red-faced has anything to say about it. keith is out of guesses though, and soon finds himself pulled down an equally bizarre rabbit hole wherein shiro is seemingly confessing to thinking about him while banging other men -- toji and whoever else, and keith is once again unable to keep his degree of perplexion off his face. it hits in waves, really. shiro never talks about the other guys he's with, never mind the sorts of fantasies he has. keith's barely shifted through the ugly jealous possessiveness that flares to life when the last bombshell drops. ]
What?
[ blurted out and thoroughly ill-advised, keith pulls back somewhat to get a better look at shiro's face. there's enough bullshit that goes on in porn prison that the meaning doesn't even register immediately. ]
How was Toji me, exactly?
[ the question is entirely nonsensical, but keith doesn't know how else to parse this conundrum. ]
no subject
… What?
[ so a bit of echoing going on here. he doesn’t want to give into the exasperation just begging to take over and he tries, really tries not to become frustrated with having that blasted name thrown in his face, again, especially when shiro is trying to explain something of importance here. blame the fact that he’s already agitated and nervous for the way he lets go of keith’s hands, sighing at keith’s ability to not only misunderstand, but to jump to a completely unrelated topic. ]
How did you get Toji from that?
1/2
keith blurts, clearly chagrined and a pinch defensive. ]
How am I not supposed to get Toji from that?! You said you were fantasizing about me while you were with some other guy and that it tirmed out to be me, but we've -- you and I, we never --
2/2
putting aside that labelling that as "being together" in the first place is suspect, that can't possibly be what shiro's referencing here, right? so what does that leave? unconsciously being with shiro? there are certainly enough drugs going around prison that this could easily be facilitated with a fucked up concoction of hypnotic and anesthetic, but if shiro knew about that then this wouldn't be the time to bring that up, right?
hell. to think less than a minute ago, keith was here braced for some reveal about space stds. is this better or worse? still getting an eyeful of judgment, keith looks away -- rethinking this whole thing.
there aren't too many guys he's been with. in fact, it's down to just lance and anon. shiro is obviously not lance which leaves ... the absurd implication that anon is shiro. it's so ridiculous, in fact, that keith winds up looking at shiro again, brow wrinkled up with confusion and judgment.
this is shiro. his best friend. his best friend who can't possibly be into choking guys with his dick at the library or fucking them through holes in doors and especially isn't into sleeping with aliens. okay, admittedly keith has little to no insight into shiro's private sex life, but still. the guy that had wanted to take things slowly to make sure things felt right between them can't possibly be so impatient and horny that he'll literally bang a door off its hinges to sink a dick in an extra half inch, right?
rimming. metal arm. large cock. pale skin. strong physique. that time he thought he might've heard his name, but was way too out of it to be sure.
the counter evidence lines up shot after shot, as keith's staring takes a distinct dive south to take a hard look at shiro's cock. identifying anyone by their dick seems like some fucked up porny scooby doo bullshit, but that doesn't stop keith from squinting at the head and girth like he's doing some rudimentary volumetric analysis of how it might fit in his mouth.
he looks up again, and this time his face isn't flushed with embarrassment. rather, his voice has gotten thick with incredulity. ]
... Are you saying what I think you're saying?
[ is this entrapment? is he being pranked? ]
no subject
turns out, it isn’t much longer after that.
keith looks up, locks eyes and… – god, it was a mistake to let go of his hands, because now shiro’s are empty. meaning, he doesn’t know what to do with them as his own apprehension spikes. fiddling his thumb and fingers together in each hand, his pinches and rolls the pads together, soon shifting to hooking his thumbnails on that of his middle fingers to make this soft, repetitive clicking sounds.
this is it. this is his last opening to laugh, smile, and say something half-convincing to divert them from the truth of their history. he’s surprisingly cowardly when it comes to keith, at least in terms of maintaining the strength of their bond, so he almost takes it. he almost takes the out.
but he presses his lips together on a grimace and composes himself after a glance down at the sheets. the fiddling with his nails has stopped and once again at a loss of what to occupy his hands with, he ends up self-soothing with a palm to his nape, rubbing back and forth as he looks to keith once more. slowly, he nods. just once. and then: ]
I'm anonymous. [ a beat. ] You know, with the smileys.
[ does that need a distinction? ]
no subject
confirmation of what keith suspects doesn't take much longer to manifest. the nod somehow has all the gravitas of receiving a death sentence and keith flails all the way back until his head hits the headboard. the sound of skull bumping hard against wood isn't a pleasant sound, but keith doesn't even seem to notice. ]
It was you?!
[ processing that in any meaningful way is impossible. thoughts crumble and morph like he's being spun thorugh a kaleidoscope and nothing he says follows any coherence either chronologically or by actual significance. arguably the only good to come of this is the fact that he misses the implication of shiro's emphasis on qualifying who anonymous even is ]
You snuck out of the cube to hook up with me? You're the one who was jerking off in the library?? [ his voice pitches ever higher as his incredulity grows to a fever pitch. ] You - you're the one who ghosted me? And put on a chainsmoker voice??
[ breathe, breathe, breathe. keith stares mouth agape, still clearly waiting for a punchline. ]
I thought you were gonna tell me you caught space crabs or something, Shiro.
no subject
he means to defend himself. really, he does. but he’s being, of all things, polite. sympathetic, too. he doesn’t cut keith off, because frankly, he’s part convinced that keith will explode if he doesn’t get the words out, what with the way his voice is pitching higher than he’s ever heard it before. so he keeps to patience and self-soothes his own skyrocketing anxiety by ticking off the answers in his head.
yes, he snuck out because he was incredibly horny for keith but didn’t think he could have keith yet.
yes, he jerked off in the library but only due to that damn librarian spraying him with aphro.
yes, he ghosted him… to be faithful to him.
yes, he used a – wait, chainsmoker voice?
it derails him for a moment and it’s why he doesn’t take the opening as keith stares agape. regret kicks in instantly. ]
Space crabs – no! [ him? infected? what kind of sex life does keith think he leads!? nevermid that, even. what kind of person does he think he is? ] I wouldn’t… – if I had something, which I don’t, I wouldn’t wait until we’re in bed naked to tell you.
[ talk about an instant mood killer – and a bit of a dick move to drop that bombshell right into his unclothed lap.
… though. is the end result much different from where they are now? hands both empty again, he gestures nonsensically with them, mostly to keep himself from reaching for keith. ]
I didn’t know you were anonymous. Not until… [ don’t look. don’t look. don’t – okay, he looked, brows raising. not that it’s, you know, it’s very unique and identifying shape right now. ]
no subject
of course he's not going to contest anything about space crabs. in fact, with the incredulity starting to drain out of his soul, keith simply follows shiro's gaze down to .... ah yes, his flaccid dick. keith groans, knees coming up in some attempt to shield that from view while he buries his face in his hands.
this whole time. this whole fuckng time, the mystery person with the incredible dick on the other side had been shiro. it doesn't matter that there's corroborating evidence to make that fact irrefutable, keith's entire being refuses to accept it. instead, little flashes of their encounters play in his mind, every wet noise he'd made, every time he lapped and sucked at that dick like it was spilling ambrosia into his mouth, the way he clung to the chair while anon fucked orgasms out of his ass and -- ]
Mmmrgh....
[ the nooise is distilled mortification. keith had never wanted shiro to see him that way. naked, shy and trying things together was never meant to ruined by the mutual knowledge of being bent over, hole presented through punched out doors. or tainted with images of slick pouring from his ass or him blabbering stupidly during an endless orgasm.
nobody was supposed to see any of these facets of things keith has only started to accept about himself. he sags low against the headboard, shoulders rounding until he's almost in the fetal position. ]
... I think I need a weblum to come swallow me whole right about now.
no subject
he’s embarrassed. it’s an obvious thought, one that doesn’t need specific recognition, but shiro finds himself pausing on it, watching, vaguely fascinated, as keith hides in his hands. he begins to sink and sink against the headboard and it’s – huh, not funny, but considering shiro was bracing for more accusations and even keith storming out of here, the relief he feels is easily mistaken as something far lighter. thankfully, it isn’t so potent that he makes the mistake of settling into his relief with a bit of laughter. his voice does, however, take on a softer tone, alit with burgeoning confidence. ]
Hey… none of that. This isn’t the end of the world.
[ the mattress dips as shiro rearranges himself on it, putting himself against the headboard. he gathers keith and manually moves him himself to get him sitting up, where shiro is quick to loop his arm around him to hug him into his side. ]
This could even be a… uh, good thing…? [ that sure is convincing, isn’t it? he puffs out a breath, still not quite laughing, and presses a kiss to keith’s head to make up for it. ] We found our way to each other and not just that, we were good together. [ remember that talk about their insane chemistry? remember how not too long ago they’d both been nervous despite all the reassurances that they’d be compatible? he smiles, forcing a little more in hopes of coaxing keith into abandoning his hiding. ] So good. Best sex I’ve ever had.
[ … okay, maybe that’s being a touch too truthful. don’t judge him for it. ]
no subject
there's an arm around him then, followed by a kiss pressed to his head. it's ... fuck. levity ahas returned to shiro's voice and for a moment, keith is thrown. he peeks above his fingertips, what's still visible of his forehead still a fierce cherry red. ]
You think so...?
[ it's not the angle that keith had been approaching this from at all. anon had obviously accepted him -- tacitly sure, until anon disappeared because well.. shiro pulled that stunt. in retrospect, that whole incident had been... kinda ridiculous, huh? two guys scrambling to end a pseudo relationship because of each other. keith groans, butting the side of his head against shiro's chest. ]
Was it really the best?
[ all things considered, perhaps not what keith ought to be focusing on, but somehow reframing this whole thing from shiro's perspective is easier than looking at it from his own. ]
no subject
heh, to think he’s gone a month without that now.
it’s no grand feat, really, because he has something else to fill the gap. he has a very cute, sometimes surprisingly shy boy, who curls up with him at night and offers him kisses when shiro is particularly sweet. it’s the polar opposite of the animalistic brutality of broken doors and roughly handled bodies, but somehow, it’s just as satisfying to keep him grounded and focused, not even a hint of regret making its way into his brain. ]
Yeah. [ he noses, briefly, at keith’s hair. ] It won’t be after tonight… or, I mean, whenever we…
[ they are very much naked in this very large bed of theirs, but even so, it suddenly feels presumptuous to assume that the evening is going to pan out the way they’d originally thought it would. truthfully? there’s disappointment to be found in the notion that they may delay another day, but overall, shiro isn’t too bothered by it. so the smile doesn’t flee and his good mood doesn’t dessert him; he clings tight to both, arm looping closer to encourage keith’s lean.
he lifts his head, only because the angle is deep enough that his neck protests. knocking it gently back to the headboard, shiro stares across the room, again stripping away layers to try for more honesty. ]
I enjoyed it. The freedom of not being seen. [ he’ll wager that much was the same for keith. so maybe he’s preaching to the choir here. nonetheless – ] I didn’t have to be me. I didn’t have to think like me, didn’t have to act like me, didn’t have to be what anyone expected me to be… I could block out everything and just… [ a breath. ] – feel good in the moment.
[ his fingers curl at keith’s hip, tracing abstract shapes into his skin. ]
… But now I wanna feel good with you. [ and considering keith’s been in his head for months now, superimposed onto someone who wasn’t supposed to be him, shiro can only assume being with the real keith is going to be so, so much better. ]
no subject
they've been best friends for years, and for all their similarities and shared interests... it's still kind of fascinating to think maybe they do feel similarly about sex. of course, that isn't something keith anticipated. after all, shiro's had other partners and a sex life that predated the one imposed on them by the warden.
sex isn't inherently unnatural or some grotesque scrambling of his autonomy. of course keith knows that, but in practice it's been harder to come to terms with actually being okay with wanting it for himself because experience hasn't always been equated with choice. there's a word for that -- trauma, perhaps, but a rough life has made it difficult to even unpack that for what it is. after all, he's been in more battles than he cares to count, and seen more people die than he wants to remember. this is nothing in comparison, right?
or so he thought. in the end, it's exactly as shiro said. it had been freeing to be someone other than himself while allowing anon to explore his body. it had been more enjoyable precisely because keith didn't have to think or feel anything than what he was made to feel by anon's fingers and tongue and cock.
shiro's.
keith tries out the correction, eyes still on his boyfriend's face, then has to look away when the flutter in his chest refuses to subside. he hiccups a tiny laugh, twisting enough to bump his cheek to shiro's chest. and then... what that isn't close enough? keith frees himself from shiro's arm to carefully straddle his thighs. ]
It could still be tonight. If you want. [ if you want. keith shakes his head, unsatisfied. ] Because that's what I want.
[ still smiling, keith traces a long line from collarbone down to shiro's flesh hand, taking it and intertwining their fingers. ]
Sounds stupid but... I really didn't want to want., I guess. [ he huffs, expression turning slightly self deprecating. ] Heh. You know. If you hadn't ghosted me, I was planning on saying thank you. For helping me figure things out ... and for showing me it was gonna be okay. ....Aaand then I was going to break it off with you because I realized that even though things were okay, I didn't want to be just okay. I wanted you. [ a beat. ] No, I want you. I want to kiss you. I wanna be able to say your name while we touch.
[ pause. is that too subtle? ]
I want to look at you and hold you while you fuck me.
no subject
he can’t say he’s surprised by the revelation. he harbors favoritism for keith; he has for a long time, even when he was vehement of his denial for it.
throughout keith’s talking, shiro keeps his smile, watching patiently and fondly, as keith works through his own wants. he squeezes encouragingly at his hand, his free one rubbing at keith’s thigh. it travels up in the pause, thumb tracing along the angle of keith’s pelvic bone as his fingers curl around and his palm flattens to his hip. while you fuck me. his gaze is steady, but growing heavier, because while he doesn’t make any obvious outward reaction to it, his abdomen tightens on a flutter and a shiver runs down his spine, accumulating and spreading through his lower body to make him twitch. ]
I want that, too.
[ he breathes out the words, voice already weighty with renewed desire. leaning in, he tips the angle to press a kiss to keith’s jaw, nosing further along the hard line of it. fuck, being able to see keith’s face when they’re connected… – he wanted that before. he tried to create a poor man’s mimic of such intimacy by riding anonymous and himself of the door. it simply wasn’t enough. the eyes, the mouth, the sweaty tangles of hair – the best parts were covered up. so that’s all it takes, one little mention, and shiro is quickly losing his patience and composure. he’s thinking of keith arching off the sheets, hair haloed around him as he tries to focus his eyes. fuck. or keith riding him just like this, with his head tipped back and neck arched. shiro would have to take a fistful of his hair and yank him down, huh? he’d have to keep those eyes on him, to never waver throughout every drop down of keith’s body.
he groans, metal fingers tightening at his hip. ] Bet you’re a sight when you’re full of me. [ his body has certainly been greedy for his cock; does that insatiable desire make its way to keith’s face? does he go all dark eyed and flushed, soft, full lips finally able to to part around noises that won’t be muffled? ] Can’t believe I’ve had you all those times and I never got to see, got to hear…
[ he huffs a breath just barely resembling a laugh and then explores his galra hand up keith’s torso, sliding in to skim his fingertips along the shape of his pec and over his nipple. ]
I said your name once. [ cooed. casual. ] Do you remember? [ he pulls back to get a full look at keith, grinning. ] You felt so good around me that I lost my mind. [ a beat, fingers giving a playful pinch at his nip. ] Think you can do it again? Maybe make me yell it this time… not in that chainsmoker voice you love so much?
no subject
barely a minute in, and everything is different. constraints enforced by glory holes and anonymity had eliminated most avenues of foreplay. even towards the end of those hook ups, there'd still been a sheet to keep most of him covered, and touch had almost always been more more direct right from the get go. hands on his cock, fingers scissoring his rim, a tongue pushed inside his hole -- all with the assumption of enforced silence.
shiro's voice in this context is damn near intoxicating. kisses, butterfly touches and pinches. keith moans as fingers squeeze a half dime pert, cock filling out again fast with a twitch. fuck -- those stupid mandatory "good mate" classes have more or less drilled into his head what's considered an erogenous zone, but knowing the nipple is one of those things is still not wholly the same as discovering in real time that he's sensitive here too. he flushes, slowly lettin expelling a long puff of breath as he gathers his wits. ]
I remember.... [ voice breathy, keith drags his hnads up shiro's arms, feeling the strength in his boyfriend's biceps and shoulders with appreciative squeezes. he shivers, before scooting a little closer hips just shy of being flush to shiro's but close enough that the tip of his cock brushess just beneath shiro's cockhead. ] Kind of.. I wasn't really really thinking straight at all.
[ he laughs, looking sheepish for a moment. ]
Being full of you kinda has that effect.
[ of course, being in the throes of a frighteningly long orgasm hadn't exactly helped his coherence either. keith glances down at their almost touching cocks, then looks back up at shiro to steal an open mouthed kiss and pulls away with a gentle bite at his lower lip. that bit of cheek is all the warning shiro gets before keith reaches down to grab him by the balls. ]
You'd yell if I squeezed now, yeah?
[ he wouldn't, of course. a point made self evident a half beat later when he lets go in favor of indulgently tracing a thick vein up to the frenulum simply because he can.. being the one covered up has kept keith strictly on the receiving end of anon's whims, and it's exhilarating to look and see how shiro reacts to him for a change. ]
Heh. it's our first real time together and you're already turning it into a challenge. Unbelievable.
[ except it's not. it's so ridiculous shiro that even though keith is teasing, his heart is overstuffed with fondness. ]
no subject
so it’s tempting to continue on this trajectory. he can already see it; the two of them setting into a throwdown challenge of who can make the other louder, both teasing until one of them breaks to wrap a hand around the two of them, rocking their cocks together. he’s wanted this, too. it never would have worked unless shiro took up the sheet and covered himself up instead, but he’d liked the idea of anonymous riding him enough to begin considering it. he ghosted him before he ever reached a comfort level necessary for him to bear such vulnerability, but it’s alright. it’s okay. he has keith now and keith already looks gorgeous straddling his thighs. if shiro just inches down a little more, giving keith more room to move, he could line up shiro’s cock and sink down on it.
and maybe that would be the appropriate way to do this, because underneath keith’s cheekiness, shiro’s certain the boy is still nervous about wanting to be filled. that would give keith more of the power, more of the control; he’d be leading. but shiro’s also a greedy, wanting man, who enjoys pushing keith. ]
You’re right. This is our first real time and it’s special.
[ he gives that half-dime a parting brush, delighting in how perky that nub is, and then moves both hands around to press flat against keith’s back, fingers spread wide to encompass more space. ] So know what I’m gonna do? [ palms down, along his shoulder blades, they’re good leverage points for him to grasp keith and pull, coaxing the boy to lift up on his knees to come closer. ]
I’m gonna focus on making you yell and you sob. [ is that too much like anonymous? maybe. but aside from shiro wanting to shower keith with affection, he wants keith to see him, too. to see how much he enjoys touching his body. which he does now; with keith higher, the access to that chest is open, giving shiro the easiest lean forward to flick the tip of his tongue over that hard nub. he mouths in next, kissing it and grazing teeth. ]
Been wanting to worship this body for months… so can you do that for me? Can you let yourself enjoy it?
no subject
but shiro isn't done with retaliating, is he? keith's touch is light enough that when shiro hoists him up onto his knees, his hands sim drags up over cockhead to lay flat on shiro's abs. as if the point hadn't been made clear already, having full access to play with each other is an entirely different beast. warm lips find his chest, and the flick of tongue on peaked nipple gets keith to whine as he wraps both arms around shiro's back.
but it's shiro's voice more than anything else that makes keith flush warm from cheeks down to his chest. fuck. the time when he'd been more galra than human is the first real indication he'd ever gotten than anonymous's words were just as filthy as his tongue, but that'd been once and keith's never built up any immunity to dirty talk. again, those fucking good mate classes only go so far and they'd largely only made keith feel extremely uncomfortable reading off lewd suggestions from cue cards.
but even that's beside the point, isn't it? he looks down at shiro, eyes wide with surprise. thing is? keith's never been great at receiving care from others, much less being spoiled with it to the point of worship. then again, considering shiro knows this, perhaps the real ask is for keith to willingly make himself vulnerable and open. no hiding, no muffling, no denying.
looking a pinch doe eyed, keith's heart does a horrible flutterskip that makes breathing difficult for two beats before he's finally able to speak. ]
...it's you, Shiro. You know I'd do anything for you.
[ a beat. ]
But you're sure about that? You don't want me to suck you off or anything?
no subject
granted, keith is still very much that sweet, hesitant boy from their walk back from the carnival. naturally, a counter-offer was always in the cards. and boy, shiro cannot confidently say that he isn’t tempted. ]
I do love your mouth…
[ his own is still mouthing at keith’s chest, lips moving across the slight dip between keith’s pecs, moving, still moving all the way over to keith’s other nipple. it receives similar treatment in a flick and a kiss, though the wet suck is an added slow indulgence. notwithstanding, of course. one suckle, two, and the third draws longer before he releases to coo over the pert thing. ]
But I’m patient. [ he tips his head, looking, briefly, up at keith, before lifting his head to sit up just a little more. so – ] Later. Right now, all you need to do is keep your eyes open and watch me please you.
[ and lay down, apparently. shiro helps him through that. pulls him down, tips their weight and rolls them over, careful in the way he helps rearrange keith so he ends up beneath shiro, adequately cradled by the pillow. holding himself with his hands and knees, so none of his weight remains on keith, shiro grins down at the other. ]
Sounds easy, but I’m quite good with my mouth, too.
no subject
okay, so maybe a month's worth of sexual abstinence from anon and some quick, barely satisfying masturbation sessions to get sex out of his system hasn't exactly helped with his excitability here, but that can't wholly be it, right?
shiro scoops him up to reposition him onto his back and keith still keeps his eyes trained on his boyfriend's face. it's almost easier that way, not visually acknowledging his own arousal, though he can feel it potently. from the stiff peaks of his half dimes, down to the subtle throb of his cock as it reaches up as if to try and touch shiro hovering above him. he swallows, feeling the slow bob of his adam's apple as keith takes a deep breath.
fuck. he's imagined having shiro on top of him before. smiling while forging their connection stronger, deepr, filthier, but always with guilt attached to the fantasy. anon and shiro were always meant to be distinct entities, though the line had been blurred so often in the throes of passion that their convergence now still feels unreal. keith reaches up in defiance of shiro's orders to push back his forelock with a look of soft disbelief on his face before letting his arm flop back down on the bed. a nervous fidget later, and keith shuffles his legs apart on the bed, neatly boxing shiro between the border of his thighs. ]
Heh. You say it like I don't already know that. [ like he hasn't cum down shiro's throat and in his mouth without knowing. somewhat amused, keith huffs. ] Unless you're saying you've been holding back?
[ it's teasing. part of their usual competitive banter, really. but truthfully, inexperience menas keith very sincerely can't imagine all the ways in which that might actually be the case. ]
no subject
but instead, he yields, slightly, to the idea that he’s already offered up his best. ]
I pulled out all the stops for you. [ the grin turns boyish in its lopsided curvature. shuffling down keith’s body, he briefly ducks down to kiss his sternum. ] I love pleasing this body.
[ he’s wandering down said body, brushing kisses over abs and belly button, breathing words in the midst. ]
And now you get to see just how much I do. [ love pleasing him. he lifts his head, and settles down in the framing of keith’s thighs, more comfortably seated with his legs tucked underneath himself. ] This gorgeous face here? [ he drags his palm over keith’s hip and down the crease of pelvis meeting thigh, fingers curling around a once again, nicely filled out dick. ] You’re gonna watch how wide you push my lips apart. How wet you make them.
[ the ridges are standing out and shiro, now fully prepared for them, has nothing but desire for them as he squeezes, feeling each line against his palm. ]
Bet you’ll make my eyes water, too. [ he blinks slow, accentuating the slight flutter to his lashes, clearly playing it up. ] When these ridges start working down my throat.
no subject
see, as much as he'd grown to like sucking anon's cock hard until it spat cum on his tongue and down his throat, it'd been yet another weird, guilty pleasure that he wasn't sure how to accept about himself. perhaps part of that had been the inherent absurdity of only ever being face to face with a waiting dick poked through a library shelf or a hole in the door that left his insides roiling in shame for getting off to having his mouth stretched wide and throat stuffed full, but there'd been more to that too. the guy on the other side of the door had grunted and groaned, and in the back of keith's mind, he'd put familiarity to those horny, wet sounds.
familiarity that, now, keith no longer has to fantasize or imagine. slowly, he props himself up onto his elbows, breathing hard to follow shiro's face as he settles on his knees between the split of his legs. it's ... fuck. it's so much, just looking at shiro there, grinning and teasing and possibly getting off to the same thing keith had been self-critical over. ]
Shiro... [ fuck. shiro hasn't even touched him yet and already there's a whine to his voice. feeling heat spread across his cheeks, keith swallows, trying for a pinch of composure. ] .. Fuck, you're gonna make me cum really quick if you keep talking like that.
[ a beat later, and keith has to laugh. ]
Fuck I don't even know what I'm saying right now. Just ... [ carefully, he sits up a little further, hand outstretched to sweep white forelock back and away from shiro's face. ]
You're the one who made me like this, you know? Taking it in my mouth until I choke. I didn't know you felt the same way.
[ on some level, it's kind of funny. anon had always taken such care to be quiet, and shiro is anything but. again, less than five minutes in and keith is stupidly aroused by the difference. like it isn't just him being more vulnerable, more present and himself in his visibility, but shiro too.
perhaps it's even funnier then, that a long time ago when keith had tried to imagine what first-time sex with shiro would have been like, he'd pictured something gentle and sweet. this still is, of course, but it's intercut with filth and something more real that it makes keith shiver as he drags fingers down to hook his index at shiro's lower lip. ]
Fitting, that I end with the morning porn.
Felt what way? Enjoy sucking cock?
[ he made keith like that? there’s some valuable nugget of information there. was he the first dick keith’s ever taken into his mouth? is it his dick that keith’s lavished the most attention to? both thoughts are pleasing; combined, they have him shivering and hazy-minded, a quick spell of pleasure sufficiently distracting him in the moment. only for a beat. then he’s sobering, answering the question for himself. ]
It’s definitely not for everyone and I’d never expect it from you if you didn’t –
[ but he does. so he abandons the words and doesn’t bother ending it. see, while keith and anonymous are the same person, they are distinctly different entities in his head. being with anonymous was about taking and being unapologetic with his own pleasure. of course, toward the end, he hadn’t been a selfish lover with anonymous, either, but he’d started off as one; that theme coloring the rest of their interactions to the point that shiro did expect certain things from anonymous, even during the moments that he was the one with his mouth pressed to the door.
keith is different. keith is always different. it wouldn’t necessarily be his first choice, because he very much wants to get his cock inside this boy, but he’s also quite confident in the idea that he’d be perfectly satisfied rutting into the mattress as he adores keith’s body, pleasing him until the boy is sobbing and spent, a useless, adorable mess in the sheets. ]
But yeah, I like it. [ he quirks a smile, looking boyish and sweet, there between keith’s legs. ] I want you to feel good. I want to feel you feeling good.
[ … but then there’s a shift. that sweetness that’s oddly almost wholesome slips away, features subtly changing until an expression takes that is heat and confidence and a touch of competitiveness, too. keith’s sitting up and reaching. that’s the issue he’s zeroed in on here; something that he feels compelled to correct. so he lifts up, moving his hands to crawl back up keith’s body and to force himself into keith’s space. ]
Make no mistake, I’m the one with your dick in my mouth, but I’m the one control. [ a balances on one hand and gets the other to keith’s shoulder, gente, yet insistent in how he pushes him back down into the pillow. ] I’m the one leading you through your pleasure. I’ll take care of you, even when you’re pleasure-drunk and out of your mind. [ a soft, kind laugh. hovering over him, he ducks down to peck keith’s lips, his nose, and finally his forehead. ] Remember… let yourself enjoy it. I’ve got you, baby.
i feel contractually obligated to tag this so you have more morning porn
i am mid-morning porning. i am losing my edge.
it is still morning porn, it counts??
Coffee, actual food breakfast and porn; you're set up for a wonderful day
it's true, my day was stacked
and here we go again with an attack of tags
and now it is my turn to morning porn....
and so it continues
shl it really does because here i am... in the morning. writing filth
two morning porns in one day, what is happening
THREE.
This isn't morning porn but... Does it still count.
i say yes in spirit.
here i am to sin
or bless jizzus's birthday...??
How can one comment box hold so much curse
it is a mystery
p sure the answer to the mystery is you
but i am such a good bean....
you are, you are, i appreciate you at 7:30 AM. i've doomed us all.
ah. so i should expect another blizzard then.
YOU BETTER NOT GET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE. DON'T EVEN JINX IT
sfhjkls ok
i am leaving you on read here bc you left me on read elsewhere
BY ACCIDENT!! also happy first tag of 2023
my first tag was wholesome and yours was filth, ic how this year is going to pan out
YOU TOLD ME TO???
i am being slandered per usual
I SAID SO MANY NICE THINGS ON THAT LOVE MEE.
OKAY TRUE and it touched my lil heart ; ~ ; ty for being so kind
/wears my good bean badge
this once, you deserve it
I ALWAYS deserve this badge
what about when you're talking about people being trampled at walmart
LISTEN i take no joy in that??? i was merely making cultural observations.
UH HUH. walmart is our place of worship apparently
LISTEN. I AM ONLY POINTING OUT POINTS ONF DIFFERENCE.
i want you to know, that every time i go to walmart now, i think of this "cultural difference"
sfdhjskl does that count as enhancement...
... i suppose i must now add walmart to the list
lol the list of enhanced words is incredible
just everything about the main list is perfection
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
i said AM porn, so here it is: AM porn
i can't believe you are now back in AM porn land
i hate this tag, i want you to know
i cringed the whole time typing a response
i just... will keith ever find out that he has a beet booty
shiro could tell him!!! or i guess make out with him immediately after...
perhaps shiro should take a picture of his booty hole and simply show him
gosh he could LOL
perhaps he can print it out and take it w him to canada
i can't believe this is their future. looking at filthy pictures and talking about the good old days
fjkghgw it'll keep them warm???
but my tundra research says otherwise??
fjkjhg ah yes. your pokemoning in the low 30s weather. i wonder if s + k can pokemon in the tundra
Important. Research.!!!!
IT REALLY IS. i value your commitment to the research of our many sheith verses
yes, i deserve to be appreciated
so modest
shhh you, too, are deserving of appreciation.
/insert cat hugging gif
BEAVER DAM IM YELLING
Keith has been Henry'd
....i will never look at that name the same way thanks
henry doesn't deserve this. he is such an innocent, fussy bean.
YOU DID THIS
ive been yelling at a constant pitch for 8 hrs. i cannot believe you brought approval kink into this
KEITH BROUGHT IT IN !! I AM ALSO YELLING.
i'll just be over here closing my eyes for eternity
can i join you?
... no. you're the one causing this eternity eye closing
YOU brought up the terminology!!
i continue to feel judged for providing such wonderful tags
we both know this judgment is highly warranted???
i admit to nothing
://///
c:
i am not fooled by this smile
:c
.... /pokes ur sad cheeks
... i hate that this tactic works in making the sad face less sad
dont be tsun
i do what i want!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
i'm kind of upset that i didn't get this up on easter because... well. y'know.
LOL i suppose you were merciful to zombie jesus
couldn't sin too much
uh huh uh huh
at this rate, we'll be doing this thread longer than titanic
ok that would make me laugh
we're already more than halfway there!
listen maybe tey'll go to bed now??
i think they will. shiro needs to recharge his prince
yes plug that prince in for recharging
the bunny 1 is in the way tho :c
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)