[Well now he realizes this was a mistake, and he pauses briefly to glance over his shoulder at Lammy and Millium to say....
Or okay, maybe he shouldn't say anything. Maybe he should let silence be the response she gets to her first assertion. For all the good that it's going to do....]
I just wanna make sure we exhausted all the other options first, okay?
[Because apparently this kissing on the head thing is the Worst Possible Ordeal?? Thanks, Keith. He'll lay his palm flat against the door, hope that's enough cuz it's not like he sweats profusely from his hands or whatever, and then take a few steps back to retreat behind the bookshelf.]
In 3... 2... 1
[The boom that results makes more of an impact on his ears than it does on the door which remains cheekily unscathed. Might've been a pretty predictable result, but.... he's loud sighing anyway.]
[Millium, please. He's already trying real hard not to make a face like he's been forced to suck on a lemon over this conclusion, do we have to rub it in? He'd comment to that effect as he peers out at the door from behind the bookshelf, but...]
Huh?
[Incredulity's out of his mouth before everything comes together.]
I'm not getting on my knees, we're not going along with --
[Christ, it's like her weird phrasing is only just hitting him now and it's building up to a dumb mixture of embarrassment and being way too stubborn to be embarrassed right now. He cuts himself off mid sentence then attempts to sound more authoritative.]
You started -- [Stop laughing at him, gdit!] Forget it.
[He's dropping this like it's a fuckign hot potato before she finds another way to make him feel mortified. As it s, he's already dodging eye contact and looking more at the wall above her head than at her face. Now that he's got this dumb wiener conversation in his head though, that makes the whole "kneeling down" thing even more awkward than it already did and it shows in his tense body language.]
I'm just... gonna sit.
[This is clearly the mature solution here. Keith sits stiffly, arms crossed and scowling at the floorboards. WHY THIS.]
[Well, awkward and immature or not, Millium seems pleased with this solution. She trots right on over, and plants a big ol' kiss right on top of Keet's head.
The door makes no sound or anything to indicate that this has worked. Maybe they both need to do it, or it wanted it the other way around...?]
[He's not going to ask why she's so chipper about this. In fact, he's not going to do anything but sit there stone still, holding his breath like he's waiting for the bloody apocalypse.He relaxes maybe three hairs when she moves back and then he's back to tense when he glances at the door.]
Doesn't look like it worked.
[JUST AS HE FUCKING THOUGHT. It's a trap. Clearly. He'll get up and attempt to jiggle the door open to no result.]
So now what.
[Cuz obviously the idea of trying this the other way around is just not even worth trying.]
[Okay so he has some fresh thoughts about the door being sentient and oddly specific in its apparent perversion, but first:]
...Are you mad at me?
[The confusion there's genuine. He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, Is he supposed to find Millium charming or whatever?? He turns away from the door, giving her his full attention.]
I just keep forgettin' how dense you really are 'til things like this come up. And thinkin' that hey, after everything else, you oughta know by now that bein' a little snuggly isn't gonna kill you. I mean, nothing else did.
[Dense. Gah, that's so blunt on her part that the response is practically automatic, but he does force himself to drop the issue somewhat because there's a glimmer of a serious point embedded in what's been said. Even if it's brought up a bit facetiously, bringing up all the death and dying they've both had to deal with for the last few months is a pretty good way of getting him to be serious. .... More serious.
He walks away from the door to go stand closer to Millium.]
Not used to being real affectionate with people is all. I know it's not gonna kill me.
[He'll punctuate this by putting his hand on Millium's head.]
[Millium has never hidden or sugarcoated anything in her life, and she sure as heck is not about to start now. She is nothing if not brutally honest, even if she doesn't entirely intend to be brutal with it.]
Well! [Looks like she's brightened back up again, flashing him a confident little grin.] That's all right. We can work on that.
[And that's his hand moving off Millium's head, expression somewhere between incredulous and suddenly very tired.]
You're going to train me.
[He's going to state that in the most deadpan tone of voice. What's she even planning here? A strict daily regiment of 10 pats on the back and 10 hugs a day? It's definitely just a weird phrasing on her part right? Right.]
[Immediate regret sure is immediate. He didn't even agree to be trained, ok??]
"Cute."
[It's mounting disbelief and maybe just a pinch of stalling here. Stalling that, for the record, he would deny he is in any way doing because this isn't a big awkward deal or anything. Obviously. You can tell he's not stalling because he's looking at Millium's head and otherwise not moving. Baby steps.]
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Whaaat? No way! I'd be awesome with explodey powers! Me n' Lammy could wreck so much stuff!
[Millium, that's precisely why they didn't give you cool explodey powers.]
Mgghh... fine, fine. But if it doesn't work, I totally told you so!
[Thankfully, with having Lammy back at full power, that means she gets a full-blown shield now. Neato.
Good luck with the sweaty palms, buddy.]
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Or okay, maybe he shouldn't say anything. Maybe he should let silence be the response she gets to her first assertion. For all the good that it's going to do....]
I just wanna make sure we exhausted all the other options first, okay?
[Because apparently this kissing on the head thing is the Worst Possible Ordeal?? Thanks, Keith. He'll lay his palm flat against the door, hope that's enough cuz it's not like he sweats profusely from his hands or whatever, and then take a few steps back to retreat behind the bookshelf.]
In 3... 2... 1
[The boom that results makes more of an impact on his ears than it does on the door which remains cheekily unscathed. Might've been a pretty predictable result, but.... he's loud sighing anyway.]
...Great.
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Told ya so.
[Thanks, Millium. She lets down Airgetlam's shield before wandering over to the door and note again.]
Well, I think we're all out of breaking it options. And I don't see any other potential exits. So... hmmm. A kiss on the head, huh...
[She pauses, tapping her lips in thought before turning to Keith.]
Come over here and get on your knees so I can reach you.
1/2
Huh?
[Incredulity's out of his mouth before everything comes together.]
I'm not getting on my knees, we're not going along with --
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Stop making this weird!
i continue to be so very sorry about her
[MILLIUM?! WHY DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THIS]
But how else am I supposed to kiss you on the head? You're too tall and you'd prolly get all mad if I tried climbing you!
she is so GOOD
Okay, hold on. What the hell does being a guy or a girl have to do with getting down on your knees? Do girls not have knees now.
[..help him.]
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Girls don't have wieners, Keith.
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I know that! I wasn't -- that's not... [OH MY GOD. Just going to rub at his forehead. Why is this happening. How did this conversation go so wrong??]
Look. [A deep breath and another potentially (futile) attempt at reclaiming some dignity here.] Can we just drop the weiner talk.
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Ehe... then don't tell me I'm makin' things weird! You're just too tall for me t'kiss your forehead, so you gotta come down here. That's all.
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[He's dropping this like it's a fuckign hot potato before she finds another way to make him feel mortified. As it s, he's already dodging eye contact and looking more at the wall above her head than at her face. Now that he's got this dumb wiener conversation in his head though, that makes the whole "kneeling down" thing even more awkward than it already did and it shows in his tense body language.]
I'm just... gonna sit.
[This is clearly the mature solution here. Keith sits stiffly, arms crossed and scowling at the floorboards. WHY THIS.]
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[Well, awkward and immature or not, Millium seems pleased with this solution. She trots right on over, and plants a big ol' kiss right on top of Keet's head.
The door makes no sound or anything to indicate that this has worked. Maybe they both need to do it, or it wanted it the other way around...?]
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Doesn't look like it worked.
[JUST AS HE FUCKING THOUGHT. It's a trap. Clearly. He'll get up and attempt to jiggle the door open to no result.]
So now what.
[Cuz obviously the idea of trying this the other way around is just not even worth trying.]
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[She might be batting her eyelashes at him as cutely as she can manage.
Watch this attempt completely and utterly fail.]
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Why would it matter who's kissing who's head -- that doesn't make any sense.
[...]
Do you have something in your eye?
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[. . .]
I'm trying to be cute. Not like I should even hafta try, but apparently my natural charms just aren't enough for ya.
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...Are you mad at me?
[The confusion there's genuine. He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, Is he supposed to find Millium charming or whatever?? He turns away from the door, giving her his full attention.]
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[That earns a bit of an owlish blink.]
I just keep forgettin' how dense you really are 'til things like this come up. And thinkin' that hey, after everything else, you oughta know by now that bein' a little snuggly isn't gonna kill you. I mean, nothing else did.
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[Dense. Gah, that's so blunt on her part that the response is practically automatic, but he does force himself to drop the issue somewhat because there's a glimmer of a serious point embedded in what's been said. Even if it's brought up a bit facetiously, bringing up all the death and dying they've both had to deal with for the last few months is a pretty good way of getting him to be serious. .... More serious.
He walks away from the door to go stand closer to Millium.]
Not used to being real affectionate with people is all. I know it's not gonna kill me.
[He'll punctuate this by putting his hand on Millium's head.]
Takes a little getting used to.
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Well! [Looks like she's brightened back up again, flashing him a confident little grin.] That's all right. We can work on that.
I'll train you up real good!
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You're going to train me.
[He's going to state that in the most deadpan tone of voice. What's she even planning here? A strict daily regiment of 10 pats on the back and 10 hugs a day? It's definitely just a weird phrasing on her part right? Right.]
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[Beam~.]
Startin' with one big ol' kiss right on this here cute lil' noggin! Hop to it, soldier~!
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"Cute."
[It's mounting disbelief and maybe just a pinch of stalling here. Stalling that, for the record, he would deny he is in any way doing because this isn't a big awkward deal or anything. Obviously. You can tell he's not stalling because he's looking at Millium's head and otherwise not moving. Baby steps.]
That word mean something else where you're from?
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I'll have you know I'm adorable, Keet. [So there] How would you describe me, then?
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A short blue-haired menace who loves glitter way too much.
[And with that said, he'll definitely not be making any moves to kiss her head because he doesn't want his face caught in any potential retaliation.]
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