You started -- [Stop laughing at him, gdit!] Forget it.
[He's dropping this like it's a fuckign hot potato before she finds another way to make him feel mortified. As it s, he's already dodging eye contact and looking more at the wall above her head than at her face. Now that he's got this dumb wiener conversation in his head though, that makes the whole "kneeling down" thing even more awkward than it already did and it shows in his tense body language.]
I'm just... gonna sit.
[This is clearly the mature solution here. Keith sits stiffly, arms crossed and scowling at the floorboards. WHY THIS.]
[Well, awkward and immature or not, Millium seems pleased with this solution. She trots right on over, and plants a big ol' kiss right on top of Keet's head.
The door makes no sound or anything to indicate that this has worked. Maybe they both need to do it, or it wanted it the other way around...?]
[He's not going to ask why she's so chipper about this. In fact, he's not going to do anything but sit there stone still, holding his breath like he's waiting for the bloody apocalypse.He relaxes maybe three hairs when she moves back and then he's back to tense when he glances at the door.]
Doesn't look like it worked.
[JUST AS HE FUCKING THOUGHT. It's a trap. Clearly. He'll get up and attempt to jiggle the door open to no result.]
So now what.
[Cuz obviously the idea of trying this the other way around is just not even worth trying.]
[Okay so he has some fresh thoughts about the door being sentient and oddly specific in its apparent perversion, but first:]
...Are you mad at me?
[The confusion there's genuine. He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, Is he supposed to find Millium charming or whatever?? He turns away from the door, giving her his full attention.]
I just keep forgettin' how dense you really are 'til things like this come up. And thinkin' that hey, after everything else, you oughta know by now that bein' a little snuggly isn't gonna kill you. I mean, nothing else did.
[Dense. Gah, that's so blunt on her part that the response is practically automatic, but he does force himself to drop the issue somewhat because there's a glimmer of a serious point embedded in what's been said. Even if it's brought up a bit facetiously, bringing up all the death and dying they've both had to deal with for the last few months is a pretty good way of getting him to be serious. .... More serious.
He walks away from the door to go stand closer to Millium.]
Not used to being real affectionate with people is all. I know it's not gonna kill me.
[He'll punctuate this by putting his hand on Millium's head.]
[Millium has never hidden or sugarcoated anything in her life, and she sure as heck is not about to start now. She is nothing if not brutally honest, even if she doesn't entirely intend to be brutal with it.]
Well! [Looks like she's brightened back up again, flashing him a confident little grin.] That's all right. We can work on that.
[And that's his hand moving off Millium's head, expression somewhere between incredulous and suddenly very tired.]
You're going to train me.
[He's going to state that in the most deadpan tone of voice. What's she even planning here? A strict daily regiment of 10 pats on the back and 10 hugs a day? It's definitely just a weird phrasing on her part right? Right.]
[Immediate regret sure is immediate. He didn't even agree to be trained, ok??]
"Cute."
[It's mounting disbelief and maybe just a pinch of stalling here. Stalling that, for the record, he would deny he is in any way doing because this isn't a big awkward deal or anything. Obviously. You can tell he's not stalling because he's looking at Millium's head and otherwise not moving. Baby steps.]
[He could've probably dodged this, but he lets her smack him. There's probably a bit of an inverse relationship in terms of their respective levels of happiness going on here because he's definitely grinning.]
Could've fooled me.
[DID YOU LOOK AT YOUR OWN FORT.]
Kinda surprised you haven't caked Lammy in that stuff yet.
[Said with the sliiiiiightest of faces:] I appreciate art just fine.
[Spoilers: he most certainly does not. What is "aesthetic value" can you eat it.]
That wasn't art, it was a headache. Do you know how hard it was to keep Nat -- [Pumping the brakes hard mid-sentence.] ...Never mind. You can think whatever you want, just as long as you know that's not what I said.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
she is so GOOD
Okay, hold on. What the hell does being a guy or a girl have to do with getting down on your knees? Do girls not have knees now.
[..help him.]
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Girls don't have wieners, Keith.
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I know that! I wasn't -- that's not... [OH MY GOD. Just going to rub at his forehead. Why is this happening. How did this conversation go so wrong??]
Look. [A deep breath and another potentially (futile) attempt at reclaiming some dignity here.] Can we just drop the weiner talk.
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Ehe... then don't tell me I'm makin' things weird! You're just too tall for me t'kiss your forehead, so you gotta come down here. That's all.
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[He's dropping this like it's a fuckign hot potato before she finds another way to make him feel mortified. As it s, he's already dodging eye contact and looking more at the wall above her head than at her face. Now that he's got this dumb wiener conversation in his head though, that makes the whole "kneeling down" thing even more awkward than it already did and it shows in his tense body language.]
I'm just... gonna sit.
[This is clearly the mature solution here. Keith sits stiffly, arms crossed and scowling at the floorboards. WHY THIS.]
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[Well, awkward and immature or not, Millium seems pleased with this solution. She trots right on over, and plants a big ol' kiss right on top of Keet's head.
The door makes no sound or anything to indicate that this has worked. Maybe they both need to do it, or it wanted it the other way around...?]
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Doesn't look like it worked.
[JUST AS HE FUCKING THOUGHT. It's a trap. Clearly. He'll get up and attempt to jiggle the door open to no result.]
So now what.
[Cuz obviously the idea of trying this the other way around is just not even worth trying.]
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[She might be batting her eyelashes at him as cutely as she can manage.
Watch this attempt completely and utterly fail.]
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Why would it matter who's kissing who's head -- that doesn't make any sense.
[...]
Do you have something in your eye?
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[. . .]
I'm trying to be cute. Not like I should even hafta try, but apparently my natural charms just aren't enough for ya.
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...Are you mad at me?
[The confusion there's genuine. He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, Is he supposed to find Millium charming or whatever?? He turns away from the door, giving her his full attention.]
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[That earns a bit of an owlish blink.]
I just keep forgettin' how dense you really are 'til things like this come up. And thinkin' that hey, after everything else, you oughta know by now that bein' a little snuggly isn't gonna kill you. I mean, nothing else did.
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[Dense. Gah, that's so blunt on her part that the response is practically automatic, but he does force himself to drop the issue somewhat because there's a glimmer of a serious point embedded in what's been said. Even if it's brought up a bit facetiously, bringing up all the death and dying they've both had to deal with for the last few months is a pretty good way of getting him to be serious. .... More serious.
He walks away from the door to go stand closer to Millium.]
Not used to being real affectionate with people is all. I know it's not gonna kill me.
[He'll punctuate this by putting his hand on Millium's head.]
Takes a little getting used to.
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Well! [Looks like she's brightened back up again, flashing him a confident little grin.] That's all right. We can work on that.
I'll train you up real good!
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You're going to train me.
[He's going to state that in the most deadpan tone of voice. What's she even planning here? A strict daily regiment of 10 pats on the back and 10 hugs a day? It's definitely just a weird phrasing on her part right? Right.]
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[Beam~.]
Startin' with one big ol' kiss right on this here cute lil' noggin! Hop to it, soldier~!
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"Cute."
[It's mounting disbelief and maybe just a pinch of stalling here. Stalling that, for the record, he would deny he is in any way doing because this isn't a big awkward deal or anything. Obviously. You can tell he's not stalling because he's looking at Millium's head and otherwise not moving. Baby steps.]
That word mean something else where you're from?
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I'll have you know I'm adorable, Keet. [So there] How would you describe me, then?
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A short blue-haired menace who loves glitter way too much.
[And with that said, he'll definitely not be making any moves to kiss her head because he doesn't want his face caught in any potential retaliation.]
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Heyyy!
[She throws herself at him, beating one hand against his chest with all of her pitiful strength.]
Don't be mean! I like glitter the exact right amount!
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Could've fooled me.
[DID YOU LOOK AT YOUR OWN FORT.]
Kinda surprised you haven't caked Lammy in that stuff yet.
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Also, yes, she DID look at her own fort, thank you. It was a thing of beauty and also Olympia arms, don't be jealous.]
'Cause Lammy is perfect just as he is. You, on the other hand, definitely need more sparkle in your life.
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Pass. That statue was enough "sparkle" [Quotation marks audible.] for three lifetimes.
[But he'll add just a little more gently.]
Besides. You're the only one I know who could possibly make that much glitter look natural.
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[Sigh! But it looks like she accepts this subtle caring and that little bit of preening.]
Buuuut you're probably right about that. ...'Cause I'm adorable.
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[Spoilers: he most certainly does not. What is "aesthetic value" can you eat it.]
That wasn't art, it was a headache. Do you know how hard it was to keep Nat -- [Pumping the brakes hard mid-sentence.] ...Never mind. You can think whatever you want, just as long as you know that's not what I said.
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