[He could've probably dodged this, but he lets her smack him. There's probably a bit of an inverse relationship in terms of their respective levels of happiness going on here because he's definitely grinning.]
Could've fooled me.
[DID YOU LOOK AT YOUR OWN FORT.]
Kinda surprised you haven't caked Lammy in that stuff yet.
[Said with the sliiiiiightest of faces:] I appreciate art just fine.
[Spoilers: he most certainly does not. What is "aesthetic value" can you eat it.]
That wasn't art, it was a headache. Do you know how hard it was to keep Nat -- [Pumping the brakes hard mid-sentence.] ...Never mind. You can think whatever you want, just as long as you know that's not what I said.
[Sigh! But at least she's stopped bouncing now. Instead, she trots just a smidge closer to him, standing as upright as she can and trying to keep perfectly still.]
[There's a part of him that immediately thinks he'd rather be talking about the statue again or y;know have some inane conversation about what constitutes "fine art" since he's clearly an expert on the subject with his zero credentials, but he's realizing how goddamn contrary that is, so he shuts the hell up.]
Right.
[He looks down at the top of Millium's head. Her hair is so blue. Grass is green, obvious fact is obvious and all, but he's only just beginning to appreciate just how blinding that shade of electric blue is now that he's being forced to deal with it in a more personal capacity.
He really needs to learn how to turn off his internal monologue sometimes.]
...Right.
[Repeating this pointlessly. He starts bending down to reach her head. With his lips. And as long as he doesn't keep thinking about the "with his lips" part, it's fine. But you know, he can't. So he hovers a couple of inches away from her head like a robot that's run out of batteries.]
Do we even know if this is gonna work?
[Keith. Keith, the answer is no we don't know. You've already established this was still probably worth a shot a couple of minutes ago...]
[Millium is being as patient as she physically can, which is quite frankly impressive for someone with her amount of energy. She'd say she deserves a medal for this if medals didn't have horrible connotations now.
But her patience can only stretch so thin, and Keith's constant delaying tactics are stretching it as far as it can go. She peers up at him with lidded and judging golden eyes beneath those electric blue bangs, pouting a little.]
No, but s'not like we've got better options here. Also, you're stalling. C'mon, it's not like this is even hard.
I'm not stalling. I'm just .. wondering if we're maybe playing into someone's hands here, alright? Quit glaring at me already.
[Cuz you know nefarious plots involving innocent gestures of affection are totally afoot. He's not wrong.]
There.
[Said like she's the one who's been making a fuss out of this. Keith why. As for that door, no obvious signs that it's opened. Maybe they need to investigate it again.]
You're totally stalling! Come on, even if we are, what's the worst that could come of it? Someone gets a picture or a video of you kissin' me on the noggin?
Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' affectionate toward someone little that you like like m—
[...Oh! Oh, he actually did it! That sure shuts her up, and leaves her just blinking owlishly for a second. Looks like Keith's investigating that door alone.]
[And while Millium's apparently short circuiting, Keith is going to snap up right and step back. He doesn't lfail back or anything, but the way he's acting you'd think he just kissed a sleeping shark or something.]
I didn't say anything was wrong with it.
[Just you know... weird. Not like he has a whole lot of happy memories of his parents smooching him on the head and he didn't ever think there'd be a day where he'd be doing it himself? Milium, you have no idea how frazzled he would be if he didn't have a door to immediately focus all of his attention on because you know who is never going to think about this incident again? Keet, that's who.]
C'mon, don't just stand there.
[DON'T STARE AT HIM? He'll head straight to the door now, immediately looking pissed off because it looks like nothing happened. But when he reaches out to try and jostle it again, there's a loud click and hey, what do you know. It's open and it looks like the rest of the Lodge is as beautifully trashed as ever. Is escape to the outside world really as easy as this appears to look? Stay tuned..]
[Listen, Keet. She is a very simple child. You can't just spring things like this on her, she doesn't know how to react.
But she does know how to react when that door clicks open, and like someone's flicked a switch she's right back to her normal, exuberant self, jumping for joy.]
Yaaay~! We got the door open!
[She's gonna trot right on over there and slip past Keith to get out before turning on her heels to look back at him. Sorry, Keet, there is no escaping the Millium stare.]
But hey, hey. If there was nothing wrong with it how come it took you so long?
[Keith blinks as she jets out of the room. He still thinks this whole situation is weird and doesn't really have it in him to be going "yay" over this until after they're outside for real (spoilers: even then he will not be cheering), but he;ll follow after Millium, keeping an eye out for any other shenanigans.
Or at least until she throws that qu estion out. Why does she always ask the hard hitting stuff anyway.]
Wouldn't it be weirder I was all excited about kissing you on the head?
[Let's just start there, shall we. As they walk down the dusty hallway, he'll just casually reach for his knife. You know. Just in case something wants to come at them.]
[Does Keith ever have it in him to go "yay?" Millium can't imagine being that much of a stick in the mud, but she's come to expect and accept it.
Speaking of...]
...Yeah, prolly, but even just [In her best (terrible) grumbly impression of Keith:] "Ugh, let's get this over with," and goin' ahead an' doin' it woulda gotten us out faster at least.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Could've fooled me.
[DID YOU LOOK AT YOUR OWN FORT.]
Kinda surprised you haven't caked Lammy in that stuff yet.
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Also, yes, she DID look at her own fort, thank you. It was a thing of beauty and also Olympia arms, don't be jealous.]
'Cause Lammy is perfect just as he is. You, on the other hand, definitely need more sparkle in your life.
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Pass. That statue was enough "sparkle" [Quotation marks audible.] for three lifetimes.
[But he'll add just a little more gently.]
Besides. You're the only one I know who could possibly make that much glitter look natural.
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[Sigh! But it looks like she accepts this subtle caring and that little bit of preening.]
Buuuut you're probably right about that. ...'Cause I'm adorable.
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[Spoilers: he most certainly does not. What is "aesthetic value" can you eat it.]
That wasn't art, it was a headache. Do you know how hard it was to keep Nat -- [Pumping the brakes hard mid-sentence.] ...Never mind. You can think whatever you want, just as long as you know that's not what I said.
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What did Natalie do? Tell me, tell me~!
[...It looks like getting out of this room is forgotten for now, because now Millium is all about this Hot Gossip™.]
And I know it's not what you said, but I also know you wanna say it but you just don't wanna let me win! It's okay, Keet, I won't hold it against you~
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Nothing happened. She didn't do anything. Let's just go back to thinking about how to get out of here.
[Loud sigh. How the heck did that become the more preferable option again?]
Just stay still and don't wriggle around.
[...you'd think he was about to perform some delicate surgical procedure or something.]
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Oooh~ she totally did do something! No way you'd be so cagey otherwise! So what was it, what was it~? Did she laugh at you~?
[No dice, Keet, because she's pulling away a little and bouncing on her toes excitedly.]
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[You know, after he practically dragged her away from the park.]
She probably laughed.
[Everyone else sure did. Grumpy grump. Why'd you make him think about this, Millium? Now he's just feeling slightly lousy.]
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[Sigh! But at least she's stopped bouncing now. Instead, she trots just a smidge closer to him, standing as upright as she can and trying to keep perfectly still.]
But okay, okay. I'm keepin' still for you!!
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Right.
[He looks down at the top of Millium's head. Her hair is so blue. Grass is green, obvious fact is obvious and all, but he's only just beginning to appreciate just how blinding that shade of electric blue is now that he's being forced to deal with it in a more personal capacity.
He really needs to learn how to turn off his internal monologue sometimes.]
...Right.
[Repeating this pointlessly. He starts bending down to reach her head. With his lips. And as long as he doesn't keep thinking about the "with his lips" part, it's fine. But you know, he can't. So he hovers a couple of inches away from her head like a robot that's run out of batteries.]
Do we even know if this is gonna work?
[Keith. Keith, the answer is no we don't know. You've already established this was still probably worth a shot a couple of minutes ago...]
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But her patience can only stretch so thin, and Keith's constant delaying tactics are stretching it as far as it can go. She peers up at him with lidded and judging golden eyes beneath those electric blue bangs, pouting a little.]
No, but s'not like we've got better options here. Also, you're stalling. C'mon, it's not like this is even hard.
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I'm not stalling. I'm just .. wondering if we're maybe playing into someone's hands here, alright? Quit glaring at me already.
[Cuz you know nefarious plots involving innocent gestures of affection are totally afoot.
He's not wrong.]There.
[Said like she's the one who's been making a fuss out of this. Keith why. As for that door, no obvious signs that it's opened. Maybe they need to investigate it again.]
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You're totally stalling! Come on, even if we are, what's the worst that could come of it? Someone gets a picture or a video of you kissin' me on the noggin?
Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' affectionate toward someone little that you like like m—
[...Oh! Oh, he actually did it! That sure shuts her up, and leaves her just blinking owlishly for a second. Looks like Keith's investigating that door alone.]
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I didn't say anything was wrong with it.
[Just you know... weird. Not like he has a whole lot of happy memories of his parents smooching him on the head and he didn't ever think there'd be a day where he'd be doing it himself? Milium, you have no idea how frazzled he would be if he didn't have a door to immediately focus all of his attention on because you know who is never going to think about this incident again? Keet, that's who.]
C'mon, don't just stand there.
[DON'T STARE AT HIM? He'll head straight to the door now, immediately looking pissed off because it looks like nothing happened. But when he reaches out to try and jostle it again, there's a loud click and hey, what do you know. It's open and it looks like the rest of the Lodge is as beautifully trashed as ever. Is escape to the outside world really as easy as this appears to look? Stay tuned..]
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But she does know how to react when that door clicks open, and like someone's flicked a switch she's right back to her normal, exuberant self, jumping for joy.]
Yaaay~! We got the door open!
[She's gonna trot right on over there and slip past Keith to get out before turning on her heels to look back at him. Sorry, Keet, there is no escaping the Millium stare.]
But hey, hey. If there was nothing wrong with it how come it took you so long?
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Or at least until she throws that qu estion out. Why does she always ask the hard hitting stuff anyway.]
Wouldn't it be weirder I was all excited about kissing you on the head?
[Let's just start there, shall we. As they walk down the dusty hallway, he'll just casually reach for his knife. You know. Just in case something wants to come at them.]
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Speaking of...]
...Yeah, prolly, but even just [In her best (terrible) grumbly impression of Keith:] "Ugh, let's get this over with," and goin' ahead an' doin' it woulda gotten us out faster at least.
Kisses aren't anything to be scared of!