[ keith watches the casual swing of their hands with a helpless smile. so neither of them know how dating works when stuck in porn prison. that's... reassuring? the absurdity makes him stutter a laugh, though a beat later keith wrestles that pinch of levity into a more subdued smile,
granted, he still doesn't know what to think of the fact that shiro wants to do sentences together. at first, it'd been him insisting on it out of a greater perceived comfort, but time has paradoxically eorded keith's certainty on that front. the sex keith has had here has largely been coerced in some form, either by perceived necessity or by aphrodisiac. the times it's been purely voluntary, it's been with a guy he doesn't know. though keith doesn't think he would have chosen that for himself either, he's found comfort in not having his identity attached to his body or to his pleasure. it ought to be awkward and more vulnerable, but instead keith has found freedom in being able to explore without judgment.
he bites his lip, nervous and first buys himself time to think with: ]
Well, I guess it makes me feel better to think you don't have a whole contract written out for how you want things to work here.
[ he laughs, giving shiro's hand a swing and a squeeze. perhaps it's thinking about sentences explicitly that's giving keith pause? his sheet is, in a word, nasty and while he can readily imagine that it would be nice to explore each other as it happens, the prospect of negotiating any of the harder kinks still makes keith turn hesitant.
then again, maybe comfort is a luxury neither of them really can afford. they are, after all, meant to fighting a war. this time, keith sighs heavily, breath gently lifting his bangs. ]
I think.... I can trust you with anything on my sentence sheet, [ a breath. ] ...But I still don't know how to feel about half the stuff on it. I know that's selfish because going back to ojr realities is the top priority, but...
[ he trails off, not quite looking shiro in the eye. aside from the necessity of returning to the war, returning to their realities would mean saying goodby e to this shiro, wouldn't it? ignoring the sudden pang in his chest, keith swallows. ]
... I guess what I'm tying to say is that I care about you too, and I don't want that sheet to dictate anything between us.
[ starting with a joke is good. hearing keith’s laugh is reassuring. soothing, too, though it feels more embarrassing to admit that keith’s laugh acts as some sort of catharsis. he smiles to the sound of it, but otherwise keeps his tongue still, anticipating that that isn’t the end of it. so, he lets keith gather his thoughts, as well as his words, and ultimately, they’re set back on the course of a more sober tone.
strangely enough, shiro almost laughs now. shiro started off that way. it’s just sex. uncomfortable and awkward when coerced, but compared to the things they’ve seen or done due to the galra empire’s rule, they should have been able to check through their sentence sheets within, at the very least, a month. even a month, he thought, would be pushing it. afterall, getting back to continue the war was far more important than any of their individual comforts. but he didn’t push the team as he should have and he didn’t help them as he should have. and somewhere along the way, shiro got all tangled up inside his own hang-ups, now with four months under his belt, and a sentence sheet that’s not even half finished.
so maybe he takes it back. maybe he does want to specifically check off sentences with keith. he’ll have to check in with the other three, make sure they’re getting along too, because he refuses to leave until everyone goes before him but… getting close to the finish line with keith would be preferable. right?
he shifts closer, body swaying and foot gently knocking against keith’s. ] We can look over our sheets together, see what could work for us… [ he lets that hang for half a breath and then tacks on: ] – But after.
[ he lifts his metal hand and brushes keith’s bangs to the side, briefly opening up his face to, hopefully, encourage the boy to meet his eyes. ]
[ it works like a charm. keith does look up as shiro brushes the hair from his face, the crease of his brow clearing with a more open smile. there are still some unknowns here that keith isn't sure how to navigate beyond what has been discussed so far. his body being what it is for starters. while he doesn't expect shiro to be horrified exactly, it's still a part of himself that he hasn't shared with shiro yet.
on some level that feels... wrong because a few other inmates have dealt with keith in that capacity, but perhaps not having much choice in the matter had made that easier. so if sharing himself with anon, clear headed and as free of coercion as this place can get was the next step, then sharing himself with shiro because that's the next development in their relationship is probably a huge leap forward, huh? exciting and yet... kinda daunting, too.
the thought gets little traction. an impatient wolf comes trotting over to butt his face into keith's open palm with a whine. keith glances down with a soft laugh, automatically skritching behind his ears.]
Heh. Okay, sorry. I know, we're supposed to be figuring out what to do about the ghost situation so you know when it's okay to nap.
[ but he looks up again at shiro, expression moony as he squeezes his hand. ]
.. but that sounds good. I'd like that. Kinda wish it could always just be about us.
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no subject
granted, he still doesn't know what to think of the fact that shiro wants to do sentences together. at first, it'd been him insisting on it out of a greater perceived comfort, but time has paradoxically eorded keith's certainty on that front. the sex keith has had here has largely been coerced in some form, either by perceived necessity or by aphrodisiac. the times it's been purely voluntary, it's been with a guy he doesn't know. though keith doesn't think he would have chosen that for himself either, he's found comfort in not having his identity attached to his body or to his pleasure. it ought to be awkward and more vulnerable, but instead keith has found freedom in being able to explore without judgment.
he bites his lip, nervous and first buys himself time to think with: ]
Well, I guess it makes me feel better to think you don't have a whole contract written out for how you want things to work here.
[ he laughs, giving shiro's hand a swing and a squeeze. perhaps it's thinking about sentences explicitly that's giving keith pause? his sheet is, in a word, nasty and while he can readily imagine that it would be nice to explore each other as it happens, the prospect of negotiating any of the harder kinks still makes keith turn hesitant.
then again, maybe comfort is a luxury neither of them really can afford. they are, after all, meant to fighting a war. this time, keith sighs heavily, breath gently lifting his bangs. ]
I think.... I can trust you with anything on my sentence sheet, [ a breath. ] ...But I still don't know how to feel about half the stuff on it. I know that's selfish because going back to ojr realities is the top priority, but...
[ he trails off, not quite looking shiro in the eye. aside from the necessity of returning to the war, returning to their realities would mean saying goodby e to this shiro, wouldn't it? ignoring the sudden pang in his chest, keith swallows. ]
... I guess what I'm tying to say is that I care about you too, and I don't want that sheet to dictate anything between us.
no subject
strangely enough, shiro almost laughs now. shiro started off that way. it’s just sex. uncomfortable and awkward when coerced, but compared to the things they’ve seen or done due to the galra empire’s rule, they should have been able to check through their sentence sheets within, at the very least, a month. even a month, he thought, would be pushing it. afterall, getting back to continue the war was far more important than any of their individual comforts. but he didn’t push the team as he should have and he didn’t help them as he should have. and somewhere along the way, shiro got all tangled up inside his own hang-ups, now with four months under his belt, and a sentence sheet that’s not even half finished.
so maybe he takes it back. maybe he does want to specifically check off sentences with keith. he’ll have to check in with the other three, make sure they’re getting along too, because he refuses to leave until everyone goes before him but… getting close to the finish line with keith would be preferable. right?
he shifts closer, body swaying and foot gently knocking against keith’s. ] We can look over our sheets together, see what could work for us… [ he lets that hang for half a breath and then tacks on: ] – But after.
[ he lifts his metal hand and brushes keith’s bangs to the side, briefly opening up his face to, hopefully, encourage the boy to meet his eyes. ]
I want the first time to be about us.
no subject
on some level that feels... wrong because a few other inmates have dealt with keith in that capacity, but perhaps not having much choice in the matter had made that easier. so if sharing himself with anon, clear headed and as free of coercion as this place can get was the next step, then sharing himself with shiro because that's the next development in their relationship is probably a huge leap forward, huh? exciting and yet... kinda daunting, too.
the thought gets little traction. an impatient wolf comes trotting over to butt his face into keith's open palm with a whine. keith glances down with a soft laugh, automatically skritching behind his ears.]
Heh. Okay, sorry. I know, we're supposed to be figuring out what to do about the ghost situation so you know when it's okay to nap.
[ but he looks up again at shiro, expression moony as he squeezes his hand. ]
.. but that sounds good. I'd like that. Kinda wish it could always just be about us.
[ a whine!! ]
...And you, too, buddy.