[ the press of shiro's lips on his is firm and lingering, and whatever drugs the sentries shot into keith's system make him feel it. no, more than feel it. yearn, in a head-empty, pliant way that makes keith part his lips to accept tongue or whatever else may be fed into his mouth. he barely processes the instinct before shiro pulls away, and keith blinks up slow, with an even slower but determined shake of his head as he fights off whatever is in his head wanting to be a receptacle for use.

shiro loves him -- that's what keith has to focus on. it still doesn't process quite right though, because the difference between the euphoria he'd felt that first time he heard shiro say those words and the misery he feels now may as well be a chasm. perhaps the issue is as simple as not knowing what it's like to truly feel loved by shiro. that first high was spun out of control by potpourri, and this low isn't free of chemical influence either.

expression crumpling, keith takes a deep stabilizing breath and recomposes. ]

And I love you.

[ a beat. ]

But I still did things to you that you didn't want and it made you change. Even if you still love me, it's different, isn't it? This place used me to hurt you and I'm not safe for you to be around.