[ so what is he meant to do? the sentries will come looking for them; probably already are. truthfully, it's a useless endeavor; they’re in prison, there is no permanent escape plan of getting out of punishment. there are only so many places to hide. his goal here, he thinks, is that he wants to buy time for the drugs to work through keith’s system. with a more coherent keith, perhaps they can negotiate their way into lesser punishments. it’s a long shot, but just about the only thing shiro can think of at the moment.

but keith doesn’t want him to go. he doesn’t want him to put on these pants, check the parameter, and go searching for water and bandages. so he asks himself again: what is he meant to do?

well, there’s one thing he knows he shouldn’t do: entertain this conversation that keith is starting. they need to have it, but not when keith is dazed and only partly aware of what is even happening. and yet – ]

I never should've shut you out.

[ the words come to him anyway and now there are too many building up to stop. ]

I thought… I didn't know how to handle what happened. I was – [ embarrassed, mostly; to be so wanton for something he's never craved before. ] – a coward.

[ the too small yoga pants are set down on the bed and once again, shiro crouches bedside. expression pained and voice guilty, shiro pushes back keith’s sweaty bangs. ]

I've been one for a long time.

[ he continues to be, really. because he’s steering the conversation in a certain way, focusing more on the physical, rather than the i love you and the plead to betray their own realities in order to stay together. ]

It was always going to be you to… fuck me. I wanted to choose the moment, but… well, compromised choice is the norm here. Stupid of me to expect anything different.