[ shiro’s the one with experience here, but although he’s had a good amount of lays, he doesn’t have a lot of names to his list of sexual partners. adam contributes the most. it’d been good at the time. fulfilling. enough. young as he’d been, sex of any quality was sufficient enough to keep a bounce in his step and a deeply sated feeling extending. now, he has further experience to measure it up against. granted, looking back on a failed engagement likely colors his opinion on the sex, but overall, it hadn’t been like that. hot and frenzied, messy and greedy, all encompassing as good sense fled and only desire remained; sex with anonymous had been a little bit of an adventure from start to finish, some of it so potent in his memory that it’d provide good fodder for a wank the following day.
heh, to think he’s gone a month without that now.
it’s no grand feat, really, because he has something else to fill the gap. he has a very cute, sometimes surprisingly shy boy, who curls up with him at night and offers him kisses when shiro is particularly sweet. it’s the polar opposite of the animalistic brutality of broken doors and roughly handled bodies, but somehow, it’s just as satisfying to keep him grounded and focused, not even a hint of regret making its way into his brain. ]
Yeah. [ he noses, briefly, at keith’s hair. ] It won’t be after tonight… or, I mean, whenever we…
[ they are very much naked in this very large bed of theirs, but even so, it suddenly feels presumptuous to assume that the evening is going to pan out the way they’d originally thought it would. truthfully? there’s disappointment to be found in the notion that they may delay another day, but overall, shiro isn’t too bothered by it. so the smile doesn’t flee and his good mood doesn’t dessert him; he clings tight to both, arm looping closer to encourage keith’s lean.
he lifts his head, only because the angle is deep enough that his neck protests. knocking it gently back to the headboard, shiro stares across the room, again stripping away layers to try for more honesty. ]
I enjoyed it. The freedom of not being seen. [ he’ll wager that much was the same for keith. so maybe he’s preaching to the choir here. nonetheless – ] I didn’t have to be me. I didn’t have to think like me, didn’t have to act like me, didn’t have to be what anyone expected me to be… I could block out everything and just… [ a breath. ] – feel good in the moment.
[ his fingers curl at keith’s hip, tracing abstract shapes into his skin. ]
… But now I wanna feel good with you. [ and considering keith’s been in his head for months now, superimposed onto someone who wasn’t supposed to be him, shiro can only assume being with the real keith is going to be so, so much better. ]
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heh, to think he’s gone a month without that now.
it’s no grand feat, really, because he has something else to fill the gap. he has a very cute, sometimes surprisingly shy boy, who curls up with him at night and offers him kisses when shiro is particularly sweet. it’s the polar opposite of the animalistic brutality of broken doors and roughly handled bodies, but somehow, it’s just as satisfying to keep him grounded and focused, not even a hint of regret making its way into his brain. ]
Yeah. [ he noses, briefly, at keith’s hair. ] It won’t be after tonight… or, I mean, whenever we…
[ they are very much naked in this very large bed of theirs, but even so, it suddenly feels presumptuous to assume that the evening is going to pan out the way they’d originally thought it would. truthfully? there’s disappointment to be found in the notion that they may delay another day, but overall, shiro isn’t too bothered by it. so the smile doesn’t flee and his good mood doesn’t dessert him; he clings tight to both, arm looping closer to encourage keith’s lean.
he lifts his head, only because the angle is deep enough that his neck protests. knocking it gently back to the headboard, shiro stares across the room, again stripping away layers to try for more honesty. ]
I enjoyed it. The freedom of not being seen. [ he’ll wager that much was the same for keith. so maybe he’s preaching to the choir here. nonetheless – ] I didn’t have to be me. I didn’t have to think like me, didn’t have to act like me, didn’t have to be what anyone expected me to be… I could block out everything and just… [ a breath. ] – feel good in the moment.
[ his fingers curl at keith’s hip, tracing abstract shapes into his skin. ]
… But now I wanna feel good with you. [ and considering keith’s been in his head for months now, superimposed onto someone who wasn’t supposed to be him, shiro can only assume being with the real keith is going to be so, so much better. ]