[ fuck fuck fuck. the word is just going to be stuck on repeat in his head. he keeps his hand on keith throughout, both to ground him to this moment in which he feels wholly unmoored and to ensure that keith doesn’t make a dive for his clothes. he doesn’t quite trust that he’s appeased keith enough to prevent him from wanting to extract himself the moment shiro lets him go. though maybe he should; maybe it’s cruel of him to corner keith into staying like this. no. cruel would be him allowing keith to leave with things so murky and misrepresented.

that begs the question though: how clear does shiro want to be in explaining what the issue is?

he swallows, thinking of what coming clean would be like. it had taken him weeks, months to fully accept that he craved those hookups with anonymous. what if keith thinks of him differently as a result? what if he becomes the one freaking out? ]

It’s not a dealbreaker.

[ biding his time, he takes the cowardly option of weaving around the actual issue, hoping that he can set things right without dragging keith into this with him. he just needs time. time to come to terms with it himself. then he’ll break it to keith… when he himself knows how to process it. so he repeats: ]

I was surprised and I didn’t handle it well. [ understatement, if keith is currently putting himself in the same category as women in terms of shiro's level of disinterest. sighing, he turns more toward keith, touching his free hand to one of keith’s forearms. ] But I still want this and I still want you… unless I’ve turned you off so badly that you don’t want me…?