[ the window of opportunity to avert disaster is rapidly closing. there are steps, however. necessary moments, that shiro has to cycle through in order to get to that ever promising faucet of acceptance. there’s, what, five, six stages to grief? well, there's a similar amount to my boyfriend is kinkier than i thought. shock and denial are in quick succession, almost in tandem with each other. he counters the denial without even trying though, those damn similarities stacking easily, to the point that they’re too strong to refute. horror comes next, with him staring wide-eyed, still, at keith’s crotch – or the vicinity of it, since the boy has once again begun shielding it with his hands.

he’s two stages behind but keith is accelerating toward his own goal of averting disaster. whereas shiro is slogging through the gridlock of his brain to come to terms with the fact that he’s sexed up his best friend long before he had any allowance to, keith’s solution is to simply leave. he hasn’t moved to do as much, but shiro knows him; before he’s even said anything, his body speaks for him. it’s in the droop of his shoulders and the way he seemingly deflates, beaten up and broken down with disappointment.

shit.

get there faster, he tells himself. stop hinging on the fact that keith is so clearly outside the realm of what is deemed normal and vanilla. so what if keith likes to hide his identity and fuck? shiro does, too. they are the same. perhaps their reasons are even similar. the problem here though, is that shiro knows his own limitations. he fucked around with anonymity, yes, but only with one person in some watered down version of a relationship. has keith frequented other locations? other partners? how into this kink is keith, really?

i should go.

there it is. shiro isn’t there yet. he still somewhere between horror and reconciliation, but he panics in the moment, immediately exclaiming: ]

No! [ before he knows it, his own hand is on keith’s shoulder, not quite pushing him down, but firm enough to prevent him from shifting anywhere. swallowing in the following beat, shiro composes himself for a less rushed: ] No, you should stay.

[ gaze on keith’s face now, shiro tries to bolster his expression into something more encouraging. ]

I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting… [ you to be into being fucked through a door…? he grimaces, gaze dropping for a beat, before he remembers himself to force it back to keith’s face. ] There’s nothing wrong with it. I was surprised, but I’m fine, uhm… now.