[ doesn't it? the question is almost reflexive, though the flick of shiro's fingers makes keith blink, going wide eyed instead. the way things had worked out between him and anon, it certainly felt a lot more like his control was restricted to allowing anon to continue or not. keith hadn't resented that set up exactly, but in many ways he knows he was lucky to have a guy who took care of him rather than take full advantage.

took. past tense. keith looks up at shiro, resisting the urge to throw a look towards the fun house. perhaps in the end, none of that mattered because they were only using each other and putting smiley faces on notes to soften the ugly reality of their relationship.

it takes an extra beat, but when keith breathes out, he relaxes and manages a proper smile.. it's a shy thing, a touch embarrassed but keith quietly leans up onto th etipes of his toes to steal a chaste kiss. one peck and then his feet are planted firmly on the ground, a hand reaching to take shiro's metal one. ]

I know. I just... for a long time really didn't want to like it. ... Sex in general, really. Because I never really chose it?

[ there'd always been some external factor. guilt, a sense of responsibility, the need to go home, sexual punishment, aphrodisiac. anon at least gave him the space to try and process all of that without having to be attached to anything, but he'd inadvertently gotten attached anyway. stupid really, and this time keith actually huffs and squeezes shiro's metal fingers. ]

I know I'm overthinking it. Heh. ... But I really do wanna try with you., so.

[ so. this time, keith follows that up with a more decisive action. he resumes walking back to their cube, pulling shiro along by the hand. ]