[ no he’s not, he’s really not. shiro knows all his shortcomings well. there used to be a time when shiro would preen at the praise; back when his record was golden and he had the hubris of a youth unburdened by anything beyond his own time clock. now, however, it’s difficult to find delight in something he knows to be false. arguing the point would accomplish nothing, though. perhaps, he might feel satisfied saying the denial, but that two second high would wilt and curdle. he doesn’t want to make keith feel foolish. so he doesn’t. he lets the teasing stand, merely quirking a small, lopsided smile in answer.
it still feels as though keith’s heart isn’t in this. like he’s trying to wind them around the topic, without ever saying yes to it. shiro doesn’t know how to feel about that. keith is welcome to say no; it’ll sting, yes, but it’s a far better option than keith committing to something he isn’t happy for. still, it’s difficult to reconcile that. what shiro said is true: he’s not any good at this sort of thing. but he thought… – he’s been certain that keith has been of similar feeling. it’s strange to come to terms with the idea that shiro may be far more attached than keith is. ]
We can figure out how to be better at this together.
[ he hates that he’s coming off as pleading, perhaps not in voice but in the words themselves, like he’s having to convince keith to give this, to give him a chance. it’s only made more embarrassing by the fact that they have an audience. shiro doesn’t glance his way, but he’s certain the space wolf is watching, fascinated, by shiro’s crashing and burning.
he looks up, instead, drawing his gaze from the floor to look keith in the eyes. ]
For the record, I’m nervous, too. You mean a lot to me.
[ some days, when he slips in thought and goes heartsick, he thinks less in terms of a lot and moves right onto everything. there isn’t a whole lot that is stable and secure in shiro’s life. keith’s a rock, though. he keeps shiro focused and confident in who he is and where he’s meant to be going in his every day, whether here or back with voltron. it’s a dependency, one that shiro isn’t necessarily proud of or comfortable having… but all the same, it’s there.
which begs the question: is attaching himself further to keith healthy? is it fair to keith? he squeezes at keith’s hand, not wanting to acknowledge his selfishness in this. ]
And yeah, I get it. This is a terrible place to try this, but… [ he licks his lips, considering; brow furrowing. ] I’m not going to let shitty circumstances dictate how I should feel about you.
[ a beat for a steadying breath. ]
I want you. [ it feels necessary to reiterate that. ] I want you so much sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. So… [ and he wavers, because was that too much? way too much honesty? ah well, no turning back now. ] I wanna call you my boyfriend, if you want that, too.
no subject
it still feels as though keith’s heart isn’t in this. like he’s trying to wind them around the topic, without ever saying yes to it. shiro doesn’t know how to feel about that. keith is welcome to say no; it’ll sting, yes, but it’s a far better option than keith committing to something he isn’t happy for. still, it’s difficult to reconcile that. what shiro said is true: he’s not any good at this sort of thing. but he thought… – he’s been certain that keith has been of similar feeling. it’s strange to come to terms with the idea that shiro may be far more attached than keith is. ]
We can figure out how to be better at this together.
[ he hates that he’s coming off as pleading, perhaps not in voice but in the words themselves, like he’s having to convince keith to give this, to give him a chance. it’s only made more embarrassing by the fact that they have an audience. shiro doesn’t glance his way, but he’s certain the space wolf is watching, fascinated, by shiro’s crashing and burning.
he looks up, instead, drawing his gaze from the floor to look keith in the eyes. ]
For the record, I’m nervous, too. You mean a lot to me.
[ some days, when he slips in thought and goes heartsick, he thinks less in terms of a lot and moves right onto everything. there isn’t a whole lot that is stable and secure in shiro’s life. keith’s a rock, though. he keeps shiro focused and confident in who he is and where he’s meant to be going in his every day, whether here or back with voltron. it’s a dependency, one that shiro isn’t necessarily proud of or comfortable having… but all the same, it’s there.
which begs the question: is attaching himself further to keith healthy? is it fair to keith? he squeezes at keith’s hand, not wanting to acknowledge his selfishness in this. ]
And yeah, I get it. This is a terrible place to try this, but… [ he licks his lips, considering; brow furrowing. ] I’m not going to let shitty circumstances dictate how I should feel about you.
[ a beat for a steadying breath. ]
I want you. [ it feels necessary to reiterate that. ] I want you so much sometimes I don’t know what to do with myself. So… [ and he wavers, because was that too much? way too much honesty? ah well, no turning back now. ] I wanna call you my boyfriend, if you want that, too.