[ there isn’t any hesitation in putting his fingers between his and lacing them up tight; so that, at the very least, is encouraging. it helps settle the anxious feeling roiling his stomach. the dread isn’t so suffocating, either, like he isn’t about to be talked down from all his hopes and expectations. he’s been through that already. adam did that. with far less grace and humility than someone who had a ring really ought to have shown. he’d simply removed himself from shiro’s life, washing his hands clean of any empathy or remorse, because of course, his inability to care was shiro’s fault.

likening this to a broken engagement is embarrassing on his part; they aren’t exactly dating, so does this even qualify as being dumped? he’s saved from having to reflect deeper for some sort of label, because thankfully, there’s a denial and a smile, all of it quickly becoming clear.

oh.

hindsight is twenty-twenty and now that he’s on this side of it, shiro finds it quite remarkable that he didn’t jump to this instead. nervous. keith is scared of messing up. just as shiro's feared himself – still fears, honestly.

relief comes and he laughs, a little, on a puffed exhale as keith gestures around. it’s the worst place to have a relationship, shiro isn’t blind to that, but the thought of being nothing to keith, while other people become everything in comfort, in pleasure… well, navigating a relationship here seems like the lesser evil to his peace of mind. ]

I want you.

[ it’s surprisingly easy to say. it’s the aftermath that catches him; he goes awkward in the curve of his smile and then he’s looking down, giving their joined hands a little swing. ]

Have for awhile. [ he knocks his head to the side, still watching their hands. ] I’ve been trying to figure out how to transition into it, you know… smoothly. But I, uh… [ heh; he laughs in exasperated amusement. ] Well. I guess I’m not any good at this, either.