[ yeah, what is that reaction? keith agreeing with him in this case isn’t a bad thing necessarily. expected, if shiro’s honest. keith doesn’t have much of a filter, shiro knows that, and that shoddy editing system is often made worse when the boy is caught by surprise. so really, shiro brought this upon himself. it’s his fault keith blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, rather than taking an extra moment to empathize and piece together something nice and tidy to preserve shiro’s self-confidence. stop it, he tells himself; that was petty, wasn’t it?
guilt dots at his mood, adding to the agitation of him not being able to anticipate where this is going. the movement back, as well as the amount of time it’s taking for keith to look the tiniest bit happy should be answer enough for him: keith isn’t all in. it’s a foreign realization. maybe he’s taken keith for granted. his loyalty is steadfast and his favor intense; it’s not arrogant of shiro to recognize that he’s been a focal point of keith’s for years. he just thought… – since everything has been progressing so well between them in the quiet, intimate moments they manage to find in this place, that they could try for a little more.
but keith’s biting at his lip and looking down, and again, shiro wonders if that’s meant to be his answer. keith started out wanting everything in the beginning, but now he – doesn’t? hesitated too long. shiro exhales slowly through his nose, shoulders drooping bit by bit until his lungs are nearly empty. it’s a reset on his outlook; when he inhales, he pushes away the sore, disappointed feelings, and reminds himself that keith is the most important person to him. his friendship, above all else, is what needs to be kept safe between them. he’s not going to make this harder than it needs to be.
it helps, at least, that keith throws him a bone by reminding him that he means a lot to him. then why not? why not more? because of where they are? because keith’s found more comfort with someone else? stop it, he tells himself again, and musters up a small smile that does very little to brighten his expression. he drops his hands from keith, giving up the hug and the caress at his shoulder, only to resume contact by taking his hand with his left. he holds his fingers gently, thumb skirting across his knuckles. ]
no subject
guilt dots at his mood, adding to the agitation of him not being able to anticipate where this is going. the movement back, as well as the amount of time it’s taking for keith to look the tiniest bit happy should be answer enough for him: keith isn’t all in. it’s a foreign realization. maybe he’s taken keith for granted. his loyalty is steadfast and his favor intense; it’s not arrogant of shiro to recognize that he’s been a focal point of keith’s for years. he just thought… – since everything has been progressing so well between them in the quiet, intimate moments they manage to find in this place, that they could try for a little more.
but keith’s biting at his lip and looking down, and again, shiro wonders if that’s meant to be his answer. keith started out wanting everything in the beginning, but now he – doesn’t? hesitated too long. shiro exhales slowly through his nose, shoulders drooping bit by bit until his lungs are nearly empty. it’s a reset on his outlook; when he inhales, he pushes away the sore, disappointed feelings, and reminds himself that keith is the most important person to him. his friendship, above all else, is what needs to be kept safe between them. he’s not going to make this harder than it needs to be.
it helps, at least, that keith throws him a bone by reminding him that he means a lot to him. then why not? why not more? because of where they are? because keith’s found more comfort with someone else? stop it, he tells himself again, and musters up a small smile that does very little to brighten his expression. he drops his hands from keith, giving up the hug and the caress at his shoulder, only to resume contact by taking his hand with his left. he holds his fingers gently, thumb skirting across his knuckles. ]
Then why does it sound like there’s a but coming?