[ he nods silently, not even registering that keith isn’t looking at him until a beat or two afterwards. right, his initial plan had been picking strangers and vetting them for basic human decency, before going through with the community service. the plan is straightforward and, for the most part, easy. once the act is done, he can walk away from the interaction without ever having to revisit it outside of a few unpleasant memories. the paladins are a different story. while the more obvious choice due to established trust and familiarity, they actually matter to shiro, which is precisely why he wants them to keep them at arm’s length. he doesn’t want anything muddling up the relationship he has with each of them, not when the ability to form voltron hinges on the connection they have.
so much for that, huh? he shouldn’t be surprised that his plan has fallen apart a few, short weeks into his sentence. this was never going to be easy. not for him and especially not for the team; not everyone operates under the idea that the ends justify the means. kill anyone and anything put opposite him in the arena in order to survive? done. whore himself out in order to gain his freedom? sure. his stomach roils sickly, his expression darkening. he never stopped to think of it in those terms and now that he has, he thinks this must be how keith feels: dirty.
he’ll deal though. he’ll power through as he always does with a combination of disregard for himself and an intense fixation on the goal. so it’s fine. it’s okay. he’s not the one he’s worried about here. it’s keith and the team’s ability to come out of this as close to unscathed as they are realistically able to. so –
found a guy.
he’s already looking in keith’s direction but he seems to come to, the slight distance in his gaze clearing. it takes another moment for the facts to slot into place. ]
Wait, I thought…
[ he’d been so assured that the biggest obstacle to overcome here, would be making the offer itself. he didn’t think the problem would be that keith no longer needed him. that he’d found someone else. he pauses on the thought, repeating it back to himself and inwardly cringing. is that a problem? why does he consider that a problem? isn’t this a good thing? should be. it aligns with his original plan. then why does he sound so disappointed? ]
no subject
so much for that, huh? he shouldn’t be surprised that his plan has fallen apart a few, short weeks into his sentence. this was never going to be easy. not for him and especially not for the team; not everyone operates under the idea that the ends justify the means. kill anyone and anything put opposite him in the arena in order to survive? done. whore himself out in order to gain his freedom? sure. his stomach roils sickly, his expression darkening. he never stopped to think of it in those terms and now that he has, he thinks this must be how keith feels: dirty.
he’ll deal though. he’ll power through as he always does with a combination of disregard for himself and an intense fixation on the goal. so it’s fine. it’s okay. he’s not the one he’s worried about here. it’s keith and the team’s ability to come out of this as close to unscathed as they are realistically able to. so –
found a guy.
he’s already looking in keith’s direction but he seems to come to, the slight distance in his gaze clearing. it takes another moment for the facts to slot into place. ]
Wait, I thought…
[ he’d been so assured that the biggest obstacle to overcome here, would be making the offer itself. he didn’t think the problem would be that keith no longer needed him. that he’d found someone else. he pauses on the thought, repeating it back to himself and inwardly cringing. is that a problem? why does he consider that a problem? isn’t this a good thing? should be. it aligns with his original plan. then why does he sound so disappointed? ]
You said you only trusted me.